31 October, 2008

The October Trail

A trailers post! Yay! Most of these movies are still a long way from being released. Bummer. But the trailers are sure fun to look at!

Angels and Demons
A fresh teaser trailer. I hope they don't butcher the film with paranoid controversies, The Da Vinci Code film was so disappointing. At least Tom Hanks' hair looks better than that scary mullet he used to have.
Opens May, 2009.

17 Again
Kinda like 13 Going On 30. Except backwards. And it's a guy. I'm sure most will be watching it purely for Zac Efron. And who could blame them?
Opens April 17, 2009.

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
A prequel to the first two Underworld movies. No Kate Beckinsale here, but there is Rhona Mitra. They look alike and are both British, so it's practically the same person! This Underworld prequel sounds kinda like a Romeo and Juliet-esque type of story, except with fangs and fur.
Opens January 23, 2009.

The prequel will trace the origins of the centuries-old blood feud between the aristocratic vampires known as Death Dealers and their onetime slaves, the Lycans. In the Dark Ages, a young Lycan named Lucian (Michael Sheen) emerges as a powerful leader who rallies the werewolves to rise up against Viktor (Bill Nighy), the cruel vampire king who has enslaved them. Lucian is joined by his secret lover Sonja (Rhona Mitra) in his battle against the Death Dealer army and his struggle for Lycan freedom.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
The latest trailer for the sixth installment of Harry Potter. Watch worthy for Potter addicts.
Opens July 17, 2009.

Piccolo looks like a vampire. Other than that, all I can say is: Meh.
Opens April, 2009.

More upcoming movie trailers next month!

29 October, 2008

Gossip Girl Episode Recap S2Ep7: Chuck In Real Life

Gossip Girl Episode Recaps
This was a good episode for Chuck's character, because the audience gets to see the struggle that he goes through thanks to his reputation, father, and his own inner demons.

Couldn't find the appropriate stills, sorry.

(Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. And even more spoilers. You are duly warned.)

Gossip Girl Season 2 Episode 7 Recap
Chuck In Real Life

Welcome back Gossip Girl fans, here’s another dose of your favorite Upper East side story. It’s a lovely morning for the Van Der Woodsen/Bass manor, Eric got a new watch, Chuck got some money, and Serena got a special suit all thanks to Bart. But it all comes with a price, and a hefty one at that, some new house rules. Needless to say, the kids aren’t taking it very well, least of all Serena. It seems that Bart wants the new family to be presented well at their upcoming housewarming party, but Serena isn’t pleased with the fact that Bart is now calling the shots in their so-called family.

By the way,

Eric: ”Who watches tv on a tv anymore anyway.” - Haha, indeed!

Over at the Humphrey home, Vanessa is busy petitioning some charity for a bar. And it seems that Dan has been busy playing some soccer thanks to his new bff Nate. Vanessa suddenly thought of going to Constance Billiard to find some kind, guiltless, rich people, what she failed to remember is that Blair isn’t one of them. Of course, this spurred temporarily insane Vanessa to threaten Blair with some pictures of her former bf’s scandalous relationship with his stepmom. Bad move. Really bad move.

Serena, thanks to Chuck, realized that she doesn’t like rules nor Bart, and decides to head off to who knows where wearing something that Bart didn’t pick. Uh oh.

Serena: “Oh, I forgot to wear underwear!” - Frickin hilarious!

Meanwhile, Queen B doesn’t like the fact that Vanessa has the upper hand, so she hires Chuck for a very Cruel Intentions-esque mission. Basically she wants Chuck to seduce Vanessa so that he can seduce Blair. Right, this will totally end well.

The next day, besties Blair and Serena are having lunch, and Eric joins them with his friend. His boyfriend. Aw, cute scene.

Back to the Humphrey home, Dan wants to prove that Cedric the Cabbage Patch isn’t his only friend, so he calls Nate to hang out and play soccer. Thinking that they were supposed to meet at Nate’s house, Dan drops by only to see that the house is supposedly abandoned and Nate is living in the living room in a sleeping bag. Poor Nate. Literally. Dan, wanting to help Nate, invites him to dinner and with the help of Jenny tries to get him to stay. But Nate, as usual, got mad that someone was trying to help him and left.

Speeding on to the night of the Van Der Woodsen/Bass housewarming party…

Serena got angry with the fact that Eric’s boyfriend didn’t come to the party after Bart talked to Eric. Angry about the new father figure in her life she tells some interviewers about Lily’s escapades that included leaving her and Eric alone while she gallivants off with numerous boyfriends. After her mini breakdown, Serena heads off to the abandoned Archibald home only to encounter Dan who was also looking for Nate. After some gushy pep talk, Serena realizes that her problem is actually with Lily, and Bart comes to take Serena back home, and Dan heads off to look for Nate. Back home, the interviewers are taken care of thanks to Bart, and the Van Der Woodsen/Bass family, minus Chuck, bond over some cake.

Meanwhile, Blair isn’t happy with how well Chuck seems to be doing his mission, and tells him that he wins. But he really wasn’t doing his mission well, because after meeting all the nice people at the bar, it seems that some humanity has seeped into him and he now really wants to save the bar. However, Bart isn’t happy that his son is buying a bar when they’re supposed to be a clean cut well-oriented family. Even after imploring Bart to reconsider, Chuck still only gets harsh words from his father. Vanessa overhears all of this and realizes that Chuck was really trying to help. But that thought quickly gets crushed by the jealous Blair bear that told Vanessa about the bet that she and Chuck made. Vanessa leaves, Chuck follows, and after the bar owner confronts him with some more harsh words, Chuck goes to Blair to claim his prize. But Blair isn’t willing to give what Chuck really wants from her, which consists of three words.

So in the end, Nate is staying with the Humphreys, Bart isn’t really a bad guy except when it comes to his own son, and Chuck wants Blair to chase him.

Wasn’t really as entertaining as some other episodes, in fact the Humphreys were the main funny factor in this ep, which is okay, I guess.

More episode recaps and spoilers coming soon, from your non-Gossip girl, gossip girl.

28 October, 2008

Gossip Girl Episode Recap S2Ep6: New Haven Can Wait

Gossip Girl Episode Recaps
This was actually a pretty entertaining episode, especially thanks to Leighton Meeston's performance as Blair.

(Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. And even more spoilers. You are duly warned.)

Gossip Girl Season 2 Episode 6 Recap
New Haven Can Wait

Welcome back Gossip Girl fans, in this episode we see our favorite pairs of besties break up and make up. Guess which pair does which?

The young Upper East side socialites are preparing to visit the prestigious college of their choice. Meanwhile, it seems that our Queen B is having another one of her Audrey Hepburn style nightmares, this time in the throes of My Fair Lady. Can I just say? Leighton Meester’s facial expressions are hilarious! That cry is particularly chuckle worthy. Blair wakes up from the land of nod only to hear that even faithful Dorota is a Serena fan.

Over onto Serena, she is still the tabloids newest sweetheart and her mother Lily is proud to be called an unidentified friend.

At the Humphrey house, Dan is babbling, and Rufus is patronizing, nothing new there. Chuck and Nate are predictably less concerned with their college choice, and Chuck is simply in it for the secret societies.

During the college visits, Serena tries to start some friendly small talk, but Blair is still bitter about the charm of Queen S and bites back condescendingly. More than tired of the b-ness of Queen B, Serena decides to rain on Blair’s Yale parade.

Back at the Humphrey Home, Jenny and Vanessa try to convince Rufus of letting Little J go back to work for Eleanor. Although still unimpressed, Rufus agrees to let Little J give him a tour of her work space.

Meanwhile, Lonely Boy is having some trouble impressing the Yale admission. Lonely Boy is missing one letter of recommendation and he needs to find someone worth being recommended by. Yup. That’s pretty much the Dan’s main adventure for this episode. You know what makes his screen time even remotely interesting? The fact that Nate pretended to be Dan to get some random college girl, Jordan.

Thanks to The Captain, Nate’s plundering dad, the Archibalds have become a topic of interest for most Yale students. Nate can’t escape his family name’s infamy, so he pretends to be someone who wouldn’t ever matter, Dan.

Chuck however, is intent on finding the prestigious school’s secret societies. And he’s doing so by letting them find him. Which actually worked quite well. The frat boys are duly impressed by the one and only Chuck Bass, but they still want him to prove himself. So Chuck takes them to a world class brothel.

Meanwhile, Blair is surprised, to say the least, to see Serena come out of the dean’s office with all smiles, charm, and laughter. Peeved that the “unworthy” Serena is such buddies with the dean, during her own interview Blair tries to win him over by telling him about all of…uhm…the good qualities she doesn’t have? In this scene we clearly see Serena’s effect on Blair’s insecurities.

After the disastrous interview and the inappropriate kisses to the cheek, Blair finds Serena happily taking in the wonders of Yale. But Blair is unhappy with how she’s losing their little “game,” especially when Serena got an invite to a prestigious dinner with Yale’s finest, and she didn’t. Still, the besties bicker until threats are made, and war is started.

Back to Little J and Rufus, the tour is going well, and Rufus clearly sees how talented his daughter is. But it seems that that isn’t enough, and Rufus asks Eleanor to fire Jenny. However, Eleanor is unwilling to fire a perfectly capable employee, and asks Rufus to think of how he would feel if this kind of opportunity was given to him when he was younger.

A quick and humorous encounter with Chuck and Serena tells us that during the Yale dinner, the dean asks a certain question to the applicants. Chuck knows Blair’s perfect answer, and now Serena does too.

Nate is getting along with Jordan, but someone comes in to ruin everything. Guess who? Jordan was the recommendation that Dan was looking for, but Jordan didn’t know that Dan was Dan, and that Nate wasn’t Dan but actually Nate. Archibald. In the end, heavy books were thrown and Dan is still as judgmental as he ever was.

Meanwhile, Blair finally got her own invite to the dean’s famous dinner, through bribing and cats. I kid you not.

Over at the party, the applicants are asked to write their answers to the dean’s question, and it’s just Serena’s luck that the dean picks the answers in alphabetical order. She uses Blair’s perfect answer, but she should have guarded that piece of paper with her life, because of course Blair has something up her sleeve.

Hanging around with the secret society, Chuck learns that it’s actually Nate Archibald that they want. It seems that The Captain has left a lot of angry people with lighter wallets around. Chuck, being a twistedly good bestie, gives them Dan’s location instead. So Dan gets jumped by the Secret Society and is tied to a pillar, in his boxers. Nate overhears the secret society guys in a bar, attacks them, saves Dan, and gets mad at Chuck for saving him. Again. Oh, and Dan got his recommendation from Jordan after all. In the end, besties Nate and Chuck broke up. Aw.

Back at the party, the dean asks his question: “The person you would like to have dinner with, real or imagined, dead or alive, is?”

And Serena’s paper says: Pete Fairman
(Courtesy of Blair of course)

For those of you who forgot (which included me), Pete Fairman is the guy that Serena didn’t kill. After being humiliated in front of a whole room of Yale’s finest, Serena drags Blair outside for a confrontation. Lines are crossed, words are exchanged, and then bag throwing, hair pulling, and shoe kicking ensues. It’s sad to say, but a headband died. In the end, besties Serena and Blair broke up. Aw.

Cut over to the Van Der Woodsen manor, Lily was trying on Serena’s dress from Eleanor as Jenny arrives for one last errand with Rufus trailing along. Seeing Lily in the dress that Jenny made, Rufus sees the benefits of her job and eventually allows Jenny to keep her job. Oh wait, Rufus allowed Jenny to keep her job because Lily talked some sense into him. Right. That’s totally it.

At the very start of the recap I said that our favorite besties broke up and made up, but only one pair really made up again.

Well, good news Serena and Blair fans. The Queen besties are truly besties again. After the madness of the dinner party, Serena sees Blair exiting the dean’s building. Blair asks if Serena was there to rat her out. But Serena replies that she was there to convince the dean of how much Blair deserves to enter Yale. Blair says that that was exactly what she just did. Aw.

After some cheesy words, and a few more cheesy scenes, the besties walk off together.

More spoilers and episode recaps next week from your non-Gossip Girl, gossip girl.

26 October, 2008

The Solution to Global Financial Crisis

We are all under pressure with continuous financial concerns, and it seems that the problems are getting worse and worse. Thankfully, it seems that even celebrities are working hard to fix this global economic problem.

Natalie Portman
(Star Wars, V for Vendetta) and Rashida Jones (The Office) have found the ultimate answer to the global financial crisis plaguing the world today. I must say that I have found a new respect for Natalie Portman after watching this video.

See more Natalie Portman videos at Funny or Die

16 October, 2008

"The Strangers" Film Review

I saw this film thanks to a friend’s insistence. I can’t say I’m completely disappointed, at least my curiosity is relieved, and it was a good enough reason to go to the mall. The Strangers was released months ago during May in the US, but it just recently showed here in the Philippines.

The Strangers in a horror/slasher film directed and written by Bryan Bertino in 2008. The movie stars Liv Tyler, Scott Speedman, and Gemma Ward.

(Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. And even more spoilers. You are duly warned.)

There are tons of (admittedly) scary appearances, creepy scenes, and people scaring other people just for the hell of it. The scare factor in The Strangers is good, but only for a one-time viewing. Needless to say, it’s not rewatchable (I know it’s not a word, bear with me). The meaninglessness of the whole film gets to you after half an hour of watching Liv Tyler crawling around the woods. After a while, I got tired of the chase, hide, and run routine and I just wanted to know why, why, oh why, those masked people were doing what they were doing in such an ugly fashion (somewhat literally, what’s up with that suit?).

Unfortunately, after all that tedious hullabaloo, The Strangers doesn’t quench the audience’s thirst for an answer. Part of me can somewhat grasp that grave psychopathological damage is enough of a motivation for those masked people, maybe they really did just want to kill people for the hell of it, but that is such a cop out reason. Why wear those masks if you’re gonna kill those people anyway? Why remove those masks if you’re gonna kill those people anyway? Why kill those people? Why those people? No answers at all. The Strangers doesn’t even pretend to have any significant reason, it’s just a playground of insanity and malice. The last fifteen minutes of the movie is particularly horrible, in every sense. And, why in the world are those children so frickin creepy? The constant scowl on their faces makes me think that maybe they’re the evil masterminds behind all the madness. I mean really, they didn’t even scream when they saw those bodies, in fact the bodies screamed when they saw the children!

I have to applaud all the actors, Liv Tyler, Scott Speedman, Kip Weeks, Gemma Ward, and Laura Margolis. Tyler and Speedman were convincing. The emotional turmoil they were under even before the masked people came was heartbreaking in itself, and it made a disturbingly touching moment in the end when Speedman’s character, James Hoyt, saw Tyler’s character Kristen McKay wearing the engagement ring. They helped make the pointless movie bearable.

The problem I have with The Strangers is that it wasted a perfectly good opportunity to explore a disturbingly intriguing subject, psychopathic killers. The film was supposedly based on the Manson killers, and Liv Tyler has mentioned that the original script had more scenes with the masked people, so why didn’t they show that instead? All we get in the film is scare factor fodder that gets old after the tenth time we see the masks show up then leave. To be honest, placing myself in that situation, out in the middle of nowhere in an unfamiliar house with insane strangers trying to kill me, just genuinely imagining it scares the crap out of me. What I'm saying is that the film could have been better.

But it wasn't that bad though, the director, Bryan Bertino, made good use of that creepy omg-I-think-someone-is-watching-me-omg-I-think-something-just-touched-me-omg-I-think-someone-is-out-there feeling that you get when you’re alone in an unfamiliar place. Because in this film, someone really is out there. The music was also a good touch for creepiness, the broken record heightens the panic during tense scenes.

Don’t expect any groundbreaking insight into the minds of psychopaths, don’t expect any confusing plot twists and surprises, and don’t expect any happy ending closure goodness. But overall, The Strangers is a good enough flick if you’re looking to waste an afternoon getting an adrenaline rush.

Also, I was quite surprised (and impressed) to find out that the masked people, whose faces the audience never ever saw, are actually really good looking actors.

Gemma Ward, the blonde masked dollface is an Australian model. Ward is reported to be the youngest model ever to be listed as the American Vogue’s “It Girls.”

Laura Margolis the Pin-Up Mask girl, she plays Daisy from Dirty Sexy Money.

Kip Weeks.

15 October, 2008

Poverty Sucks (Succinct, no?)

One of the most debilitating problems that civilization has is the never ending presence of poverty. Beyond the glittery sparkle of cosmopolitan lives, lies the constant struggle of the less fortunate to survive through the next 24 hours.

Watching and reading about classics like Oliver Twist and Annie can give us a happy ending impression about children's poverty. Of course we all hope that every poor orphan finds a loving and fortunate family. But that is just not the case in reality.

At least 80% of humanity lives on less than $10 a day.

There are so many ways to help against poverty, with a single click of a button, you can help someone live through the day.

On a more personal note, poverty in my home country: Nearly 88% of Filipinos live in poverty. EndPovertyNow

The world’s brightest stars are doing their part, why don’t you do yours?

“We are not a passive generation, we’re very proactive. ... We want to see poverty eliminated because we believe it is possible.”

“I’ve been out on the street, I know what it’s about.”
Tyler Perry, who has donated enough food to feed 1,000 families for two weeks in Atlanta.

"This is not about charity, it's about justice... The war against terror is bound up in the war against poverty - I didn't say that, Colin Powell said that . . . In these disturbing and distressing times, surely it's cheaper, and smarter, to make friends out of potential enemies than it is to defend yourself against them..Justice is the surest way to get peace."
-- Bono

"Wars against nations are fought to change maps; wars against poverty are fought to map change."
-- Muhammad Ali

"The measure of a society is not in how well they reward their most enfranchised citizens, but in how well they aid their least."
Mike Myers, Actor

"Cancel the debt."
Brendan Fraser, Actor

"This year is one of unprecedented opportunity. It's the year to say enough is enough and campaign for urgent and meaningful change in aid, trade, debt and child poverty."
Anna van der Kamp, Olympic Silver medalist

"We have the power to end poverty in Canada. Do what you can to end the suffering of others and “Make Poverty History” in our Country."
--Kalan Porter, Canadian Idol

12 October, 2008

That's so people-who-don't-have-a pen-or-paper-and-never-study-but-call-themselves-students!


So, I was watching The View on the Velvet Channel (Philippine TV), pitying Elisabeth Hasselbeck and applauding Whoopi Goldberg, and after a somewhat (not really) interesting debate about US presidential candidates and their past, they show a commercial about the derogatory remark: "That's so gay."

I was a little struck dumb because just a few days ago, I was so annoyed at my two guy acquaintances because they were saying stupid "macho" stuff and kept saying "You're so gay" to each other after every little thing. They used this phrase in a sarcastic and teasing way that made me uncomfortable. I'm barely friends with these guys, and I'm sure they don't know or care about what they're saying, but after they talked and joked around about gay men, gay women, suspected gay acquaintances, and disowning gay children, I was really, really, annoyed. I barely said much after that, and just quietly listened to tales of their boyhood and their guy friends whom they saw naked (really, I don't know why they loved talking about that...hm).

Obviously, I'm not sick with homophobia (pun well-meant, and shout out to Ellen D!). I believe in the saying, "live and let live, love and let love," and it actually makes me sad that some of my nearest and dearest are so intent in their "normality," that they are unwilling to tolerate people who are different. I even know people who call themselves friends with a gay person, and ask for free treats, free rides, etc. But are completely disgusted by their gay friend's lifestyle and say so behind their backs.

Having ranted about that, I think it's great that the US media is promoting this kind of commercial, and it's even greater that celebrities are joining to help.

Hilary Duff's "That's So Gay" Commercial.

Wanda Sykes' "That's So Gay" Commercial. (This one is funny.)

The question I have is: Will my home, the Philippines, ever follow in the footsteps of the country they're so in love with?

For some of my friends' sakes, I hope so.

By the way, if you're also non-homophobic, as I hope my readers are, click on this link: Thinkb4youspeak.

(Warning: Rant about boys will ensue in...)










What is their deal? I mean, really. In all my 19 years of life, I swear it's the boys who always start the drama. Most of the time their pride gets in the way of their thinking, the rest of the time they think with their private parts, if they're the kind who ever think at all. I can count the number of genuinely good and wise men I know in one hand, excluding family, because I kinda have to love them by default.

Okay, I get that girls mature faster than boys, but come on!

(End Rant. Dixi.)

11 October, 2008

No Besties On 30 Rock

Sorry Gossip Girl fans, but according to Hollywood reporter Ausiello, our favorite on-screen and off-screen besties, Blake Lively and Leighton Meester won't be joining the hilarious cast of 30 Rock.

Question: Got any more details about the upcoming 30 Rock episode featuring Gossip Girl's Blake Lively and Leighton Meester? -- Ginny
I'd call this a pretty substantial detail: It ain't happening! According to a 30 Rock insider, the show scrapped the hilarious-sounding cameo -- the frenemies were supposed to appear in a flashback as high school classmates of Liz Lemon's -- for "logistical" reasons. Spotted: B and L kicking themselves senseless. - Source
Blake Lively and Leighton Meester were supposed to guest star in a flashback as Liz Lemon's (Tina Fey) schoolmates. It would have been so interesting to see the actors in one of my favortite tv shows guest star in one of my other favorite tv shows. We could have seen a character swap between Lively and Meester wherein Meester plays the friendly one, and Lively plays the queen B. Oh wait, we're already kinda seeing that in the latest episode of Gossip Girl.


Steve Martin is replacing the guest star spot in 30 Rock.

I've gotta say...

So disappointed.

09 October, 2008

Go Ask Alice

Good news Tim Burton fans, it seems that our favorite gothic-esque director signed with Walt Disney Pictures to make his own adaptation of Alice in Wonderland. Lots of rumors have been going around about the cast in this new Alice film, mostly during last year, some even said that Sarah Michelle Gellar was a part of the movie, and as cool as that might have been, it is just not so. It's not entirely bad news though, Anne Hathaway and Helena Bonham Carter (also Tim Burton's talented wife) will be playing antithetical sisters. Anne Hathaway will be playing the White Queen, while Helena Carter will be playing the Red Queen. Mia Wasikowska will be playing Alice. Also, Johnny Depp is cast as the Mad Hatter. Helena Bonham Carter, Johnny Depp, and Tim Burton have worked together numerous times before, in films such as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Corpse Bride, and Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. This will be the fourth film wherein in Burton, Depp, and Carter will all be working together. So far their collaborations have been constantly brilliant. Will another team up be as good, or better, than their previous works? Either way, Tim Burton's take on the classical tale of Alice in Wonderland should be worth watching out for.

Alice is still in pre-production, but a couple of photos of Mia Wasikowsa during filming has popped up.

Burton's Alice adaptation is reported to be a stop motion film (i.e. the kind of animation in films such as Nightmare Before Christmas and Corpse Bride).

Alice is supposedly coming out in March 2010.

07 October, 2008

Twilight's final poster is just plain creepy

Okay, obviously I'm not an expert in the art of poster making. But glancing at this image just gives me the feeling like I'm relating a different story to the wrong image. I mean, aren't Bella and Edward supposed to be in love? I have no factual idea about how vampires are supposed to love someone, so maybe that look of murderous intent and general creepiness is a vampire's way of showing undying (pardon the pun) devotion?

There has been numerous debates about Stephanie Meyer's Twilight novel series and the main female protagonist's personality as a low self-esteem girl and her obsession with a dangerous vampire. I'm just as much of a hopeless romantic as the next girl and I've already announced my appreciation for all things vampiric, but I'm still not sure who or what to believe.

Kim Voynar's article: Is Twilight Anti-Feminist? is especially enlightening about the novel, its author, and the answers to the popular debates concerning feminism. Also, check out the comments, because there are also some very good points from the audience.

I haven't read the novels, but after hearing about all the controversy surrounding it, I kinda want to read it and form my own opinion...like now.

Gossip Girl Episode Recap S2Ep5: The Serena Also Rises

Gossip Girl Episode Recaps
The Serena Also Rises? What in the world does that mean? Rise to where? And why is it "The" Serena?

(Spoilers. Spoilers. And even more spoilers.)

Gossip Girl Season2 Episode 5 Recap
The Serena Also Rises

Hello Gossip Girl fans, it seems that the Upper East Side socialites are abuzz with Fashion Week fever. Blair Waldorf is ever the helpful daughter, we see her helping her mom, Eleanor Waldorf, arrange the oh-so important seating chart where the hierarchy of social rankings are meticulously planned and calculated. It seems that B and S have always had a tradition wherein they spend their time together hanging out backstage during Eleanor Waldorf’s show. Blair also
ceases the opportunity to impress her pawns by giving them second row seats.

Lily Van Der Woodsen is busy decorating with her art consultant in Casa Van Der Woodsen/Bass, this prompts her to happily admit to Serena that she modeled nude for a famous photographer. This in turn prompts Serena to dub her the coolest mom on the Upper East Side. And with all the Upper East Side moms we’ve seen in Gossip Girl Land so far? Tasteful nude photograph or not, I’m inclined to agree. Moms who are in love with rockstars, accept their gay children, and accept their past drug addict/alcoholic children, are way, way, waaaaay cooler than moms who love money and social status more than their family (Nate’s mom), moms who are in love with themselves (Blair’s mom), moms who are in love with their own art (Humphrey siblings’ mom), and moms who sleep with their stepsons (Marcus’ stepmom). So yes Lily Van Der Woodsen, despite the fact that you have to wipe diner chairs before you sit on them, you are cool.

At school, Blair bestows the second row tickets to her pawns, but Serena’s tabloid photograph with popular socialite Poppy (Papi?) is apparently cooler. Pissed off by being out-cooled by Serena, and even more pissed off by Chuck’s constant gloating, Blair bestows upon Chuck the real reason why she’s called Queen B. A verbal lashing filled with truths leaves Chuck speechless.
Dan is trying to apply to Yale (or Dartmouth, not sure), but the stories he’s sending are disappointing. Shocked that an intellectual doesn’t like him, he is advised to find some adventure and danger in his mundane life. I’ve gotta say, even Dan’s adventures to try and make his life more interesting are absolutely boring.

Meanwhile, Eleanor and Laurel are arguing over the seating chart that Blair arranged, the guest list for Eleanor’s show lacks some oomph, and little J, who is been dumping school for the life of a struggling intern, happily suggests that they invite Serena and her socialite friend Papi (Poppy?) to the front row. Because we all know that the press loves spoiled socialites better than talented actresses who have an unpopular stint in rehab.

Shockingly, or not so shockingly actually, Dan goes over to Casa Van Der Woodsen/Bass to look for Chuck. He wants Chuck to show him adventure and danger. Gee Dan, that was the smartest thing you’ve done, like ever! Not.

Over at the Waldorf house, Blair is busy with some emotional therapy from Dorota. She sees her precious seating chart rearranged with Serena, Pappy (Popi?), and some other socialites assigned for the front row. Pissed off, as is the theme for Blair in this episode, she learns that it was Little J’s fault for making such a great plan for her mom’s fashion show. Deciding to return the benevolent favor, she goes to Rufus Humphrey and tells him, with the help of some chicken soup, that his precious daughter Jenny was such a great intern. So great that she’s been missing all her classes.

On to the Dan and Chuck adventures, we see Lonely boy being corrupted with the three incarnations of the devil. Alcohol, drugs, and Chuck.

During dinner with her mom Lily and Popi (Pappy?), we learn that Serena is actually hesitant of sitting front row in Eleanor’s show because she doesn’t want to leave Blair and their tradition unattended. Meanwhile Lily, learns from her art consultant that her precious photograph was already bought. Lily orders her to search for the anonymous buyer and offer them a price they can’t refuse.

Dan, having immense fun, rambles on with the unimpressed Chuck in a limo. Dan unwittingly takes of his shoes at Chuck’s suggestion while Chuck palms his wallet. Having had enough of Humphrey, Chuck tosses Dan out on an unknown street, shoeless and penniless.

Uh Huh.


Sorry Dan, no sympathy from me.

Rufus, angry with Jenny, sends her off to school on a Saturday (OMG!) to beg the headmaster for another chance.

Over to the Waldorf house, our favorite besties spend some time doing what they do best. Fighting. Blair, insecure and threatened by Serena, tries to keep her on a tight leash, but Serena is having none of it.

Apparently, wandering around the dangerous part of New York penniless and shoeless is still not dangerous enough for Dan’s mentor. He asks Dan to find Charlie Trout’s (his character based on Chuck) darkest secrets.
It’s Eleanor’s fashion show, and Serena sees that her front row seat has been demoted to the somewhere it should not be named, all thanks to Blair. What? Are socialites so nearsighted that they can’t see a tall platform from ten feet away? Wow. And I thought I had problems with my eyesight. Eleanor diffuses the confrontation between the besties and sends her daughter backstage and gave Serena her front row seat.

Alone in a bar, Chuck calls his dad to invite him for some quality Bass time. But Bart is too busy working, hiring private investigators to report on every little detail about his wife, and buying his wife’s nude photograph so that no one else will see it, you know, important stuff. Dan overhears everything and tries to open some conversation so that he can impart some Humphrey knowledge. Chuck doesn’t appreciate his efforts and looks for a prostitute instead. Unfortunately for him, and the woman, the lady he approached isn’t a prostitute, and her boyfriend (who looks more offended than she is) tries to confront him. Dan, trying to be macho, punches the guy. Our favorite smarmy guy and least favorite Gossip Girl guy (apart from Marcus), land in jail. Don’t worry though, they had some quality time to bond. Chuck tells Dan about his mom and dad (or did he?). Released thanks to his dad’s lawyer, Chuck promises poor Humphrey that he’ll help him get out. Of course, that was before he saw Dan’s notes about his quest to find out about Charlie Trout’s deepest, darkest, secrets.

Dan is ultimately saved from jail by his mentor. Dan repays him by using his ever reliable righteousness as a shield for everything that’s not right in his world, and calling him an egomaniacal, washed up writer who manipulates his protégé. Which may be true, but still uncalled for.

On to the fashion show, we see Blair trying to sabotage the show by sending all the models home. This prompts Little J to come up with the idea of making the socialites model the clothes instead, which includes Serena.

Lily welcomes Bart home and immediately asks about the photograph he bought. But Bart tells her for the thousandth time that he’s a powerful man (yeah, yeah), and that he has to protect his family. Lily finds out that Bart has a dossier file about her and she asks to see it. Angry, she implores Bart to understand that she doesn’t want to hide anything from her children, but Bart reveals a file and asks her if she wants her children to see that. What the file contains? I guess we’ll find out next week. I hope.

Meanwhile, Eleanor’s fashion show is going great, despite Blair’s efforts. Poppy (Papi?) and Serena talk a little about best friends who get in their best friend’s way, and Serena decides that she wants to shine. Blair gives Serena the finale dress, which was actually Jenny’s dress. Jenny sees Serena working the catwalk with her handmade dress, and defeated, she confesses to a similarly defeated Blair that she’s always admired how Blair worked hard for everything she achieved, unlike people like Serena who simply glides through. Predictably, the crowd goes wild for the dress, and Eleanor has no choice but to take credit for it.

In the end, Little J saves the day and everyone, including Blair, commends her for it. Rufus however, is still furious and forbids Jenny from anymore interning. But Little J has already promised the headmaster that she’s not coming back to school.

Our favorite besties share another moment, this time Blair is sincerely apologizing, but Serena is tired of Blair’s insecurities and leaves with their friendship in doubt. Uh Oh.

Well, this was a fairly interesting episode. The audience sees the greatest flaw that Blair has, her insecurity. It crippled her and turned her into a grade-A beyatch. During the scene where she apologizes to Serena, we see a glimpse that she herself may know about her own debilitation, but its obvious she has no control over it. Serena however, possibly has no idea of the extent of the effects she has on other people, including Blair. She is arrogant, but she may not even realize it. Dan’s character development still remains to be seen. He learned about Chuck’s problems with his parents, but we still don’t know how this affects him as a person. Though I am pretty relieved to learn that Dan’s judgmental and righteous characteristics were meant for a bigger purpose.

Overall, best episode of the season so far. Except, where is Nate? And Vanessa?

More episode recaps and spoilers galore next week from your non-Gossip Girl gossip girl.

05 October, 2008

Gossip Girl Episode Recap S2Ep4: The Ex-Files

Gossip Girl Episode Recaps
The Ex-Files. No comment on the title.

(Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. You are duly warned!)

Gossip Girl Season 2 Episode 4 Recap
The Ex-Files

Welcome back Gossip Girl fans, sorry for the impromptu hiatus from the gossip girl episode recaps, but I’m back now with a vengeance!

Things are a little out of sorts for our favorite Upper East Side friends, and it’s about to get deliciously worse.

We finally get our first glimpse on Lily Van Der Woodsen back from her honeymoon! It’s the first day of classes, and she’s bestowing her children with tales of Bart Bass’ fascination with flip-flops. I kid you not. Chuck comes in and drops the bomb on Lily that Dan and Serena broke up. Chuck is convinced that Dan was simply holding Serena back from the wild, party, school queen that she was meant to be. But Serena is convinced that it’s Blair’s scene, and not hers.

Cut over to the Humphrey home, some family bonding over breakfast that I don’t really care much about. Rufus is apparently steadily dating a girl named Clare. Dan is being sarcastic. And Jenny is understandably dreading school, thanks to the wreck that she made that was the whole of last year.

Meanwhile, Blair and her band of Blair-ites are drafting fresh students into two categories: projects and victims. Funny little snippet if not totally cheesy. Leighton Meester’s facial expressions? Definitely worth a few ha-ha’s.

We see Nate and Vanessa having a little chat about their non-relationship. And, okay, just how clueless can someone be? Vanessa wants you to break it off with Catherine. You see Vanessa leave a room where Catherine is in. Vanessa wants you to stay with Catherine. Shouldn’t that ring humungous bells of suspicion already? Come on, Nate, wake up and smell the foul play!

The Humphrey siblings bond over their pathetic-ness. Slightly kind of cute. Kind of. Slightly.

Dan ends up accidentally assaulting a new student. A new girl student. And we all know just how experienced Dan is with girls. Meanwhile, our favorite besties are talking about Serena’s phobia of an encounter with Dan. Blair is convinced that whoever dates first wins the whole getting-over-you-before-you-get-over-me game. Just when Serena has decided to grow some sense, the besties see Dan happily talking to the new student. And let the games begin.

Vanessa gets an unexpected visitor during her work. Catherine, the wicked duchess of the Upper East Side, came to offer Vanessa a whopping $5000 to stay away from Nate. But before she could return the check the duchess has already left the building, in a creepy disappearing act kind of way.

D and S finally bump into each other. Things were going boringly well until the new girl, Amanda, decides to jump in. Serena’s plan of a friendly lunch is shot to pieces thanks to Dan already asking Amanda. And Chuck, is a little too interested in this awkward encounter.

Rufus gets a surprise visitor in his gallery, Lily. They easily fall back into the charming mild flirting they’re so good at, and decide to go to Repo Man. No clue who or what that is, but Rufus wants to marry Harry Dean Stanton.

Thanks to Gossip Girl, Blair and her posse hear about Dan and Amanda. They ambush Amanda and invite her to lunch, forcibly initiating her into their group. Of course, being part of the group means that you don’t go out with your friends ex-boyfriends. But Serena is not happy about bullying Amanda.

Vanessa goes to the Royal manor of Catherine to return the check. Hearing some scandalous noises, and possibly suspecting it to be Nate, she sneaks in and peeks through a door. What she sees is Oh-My-Effing-God worthy. And then some.

Seems that the wicked Duchess Catherine not only likes bankrupt, emotionally unstable, little boys, but she also likes forbidden, royal, stepsons. As in Marcus. As in Blair’s Marcus. As in the Duchess’ mistress’ ex-girlfriend’s royally, bumbling boyfriend.

Chuck sees Dan waiting for his new girl friend, emphasis on the space there, and decides to rain on his parade by telling him about Blair’s friendly initiation. Dan immediately says that Serena wouldn’t do anything to Amanda.

After consoling Vanessa, Dan confronts Serena. Here, we can see just how fed up Serena is about always being the ‘bad girl’ that Dan accuses her of being. We also see how scarily good at b*itchiness Serena can be.

Vanessa goes to Blair with some photographic evidence of Marcus and Catherine’s forbidden tryst. Obviously not happy, Blair tells Vanessa that she’ll take matters into her own hands.

Over at the Humphrey Home, little sister Jenny tries to talk some sense into her idiotic big brother.

Dan approaches Serena for a sensible talk, and Serena decides that the only way to salvage their friendship is if the air is cleared by means of a date. Together. With Amanda.

Vanessa anxiously looks for Blair for any news about the Marcus-Catherine problem, and she sees the Queen B with her royal boyfriend, seemingly still happy on a date. Vanessa leaves before she can see Blair happily dumping her boyfriend, and blackmailing both him and his stepmother for Nate’s sake. Why in the world couldn’t Vanessa wait a few more seconds before speeding off to go do stupid things?

On to the three-way date, lots of meaningless things happen, but the bottom line is:
Serena is jealous because Dan and Amanda get along well with their geekiness.
Serena tries to make Dan jealous by using some good looking, but stupid, jock.
Serena is drinking a little too much.
Dan still can’t understand girl’s feelings.

Over on to Queen B. Blair is happily relaying some good news to Nate, but before she finishes, she gets news that Vanessa has spilled the beans to the Duke. Which makes all of Nate’s good news turn into moot. So close Nate, so close.

Meawhile, on to our favorite non-couple. Lily needs a friend. But Rufus can’t be her friend. Because she has Bart and Rufus has Clare. Aw.

Blair is royally pissed by Vanessa’s interference with her plan. And Vanessa learns why Blair really is Queen B.

Serena’s three-way date just got worse. Thanks to Blair’s posse and nair-martini, Amanda is humiliated in front of the whole crowd. Angry, drunk, and fed up, Serena turns to Blair’s posse, and we all see Queen S being born again. What she doesn’t know, is that the whole Amanda drama was actually Chuck’s masterful idea. Amanda is only as friendly and sweet as Chuck pays her to be.

Vanessa tries to apologize to Nate, but he’s hurt that she blatantly lied to him and reminds her that they were never really friends. Jenny however, doesn’t seem to be invisible anymore, and the torture starts with handbags being thrown around. Unwilling to take any more abuse from school queens, she heads off back to intern for Eleanor.

At school, it seems that Blair is a little confused by the subtle power play that Serena is showing. Our Queen B quietly excuses herself from her (Serena’s?) posse, only to be cornered by Chuck’s cryptic taunts of dethroned queens and the masterminds behind it.

And finally, Dan gets a cruel taste of Queen S’s social power.

The End.

More episode recaps next week from your non-Gossip Girl gossip girl.