30 December, 2008

"Only Villains Try To Change The Whole World..."

"…The rest of us take it one person at a time.”
Runaways, by Brian K. Vaughan

It’s stupid o’clock and I haven’t slept since God knows when.

Forgive this insignificant blogger’s nonsense.

We’re way past the year 1984, but it seems that George Orwell’s warnings were not heeded enough. Power is the ability to control truth. So whose truth are we living in? Maybe my obsession for alternate universes are fueling my reluctant fascination for conspiracy theories, but I’ve been feeling really…well, suspended is the only word I can think of. Like I'm waiting to be pushed or pulled on a precipice of some kind. Like another nameless audience member waiting for the show to start.

It seems that since the turn of the millennium, all edges of the world has experienced some kind of calamity or affliction. Not a history aficionado, rarely watch the news, and abhor any conversation about politicians or the government, but it just seems like things are getting worse and worse, and most people are just too self-involved with superficial bs to care.

Now, with the much anticipated, rumored, predicted, and theorized paradigm shift in 2012, I can’t help but feel excited, scared, panicky, humbled, and very, very small. Who knows what that paradigm shift is really about, and if it will even really happen. I do hope that at least something in someone shifts soon, for the better.

Predictably, the movies are crawling with Dystopian, post-apocalyptic, or alternate worlds.

To name a few:

The Matrix, Artificial Intelligence, Idiocracy, Minority Report, Serenity, Sunshine, Children of Men, Wall-E, I Am Legend, V for Vendetta, Watchmen (opening March 6, 2009), and 2012 (opening July 10, 2009).

People have to watch Watchmen, I’m onto the 6th issue in the comics, and I’m flabbergasted by its intensity.

With all these movies (that I love), with George Orwell’s annoying ability to make his readers think, with the impending 2012 paradigm shift that I still don’t know if I believe in, with the massively disappointing yet somewhat convincing theories I discovered about the truth behind 9/11, and an enormous headache thanks to no sleep and too much thoughts scrambling in my head…

This I’m absolutely convinced of:

It really is a scary world when you can trust Youtube more than you can trust your news channel.

19 December, 2008

Christmas Movie Openings

For those who appreciate a good movie on the holidays, here are the top 3 widely awaited movies opening on December 25.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- Recommended to the romantic types who like to warm up their hearts with this lovely story, although overheating may be expected when Benjamin Button grows older.
Directed by David Fincher. Stars Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett.

The Spirit
- Recommended to those craving some noir, edgy action amidst their merry, cheery holidays. After all, red ties are always a must on Christmas season.
Directed by Frank Miller. Stars Gabriel Macht, Samuel L. Jackson, Eva Mendez, and Sarah Paulson.

Bedtime Stories
- Recommended for those who want see an Adam Sandler comedy with their kids. Kind of like Click, except with fairy tale books.
Directed by Adam Shankman. Stars Adam Sandler, Keri Russell, and Guy Pearce.

I recommend a family dinner reunion thing on Christmas day, and an awesome movie marathon the next day. Some other big movies are also opening on Dec. 26, such as Valkyrie (Tom Cruise, Kenneth Branagh), and Revolutionary Road (Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio)

Have fun, take care, and...

Merry Christmas to all!!!

13 December, 2008

The December Trail

More upcoming movie trailers. It seems that most of the blockbuster hypes are coming out this Christmas, but let's take a look at the films that will be greeting us next year.

Dragonball Evolution
Here is another, slightly better, look at the live action Dragonball film. The trailer is admittedly better, but the film seems even more disappointing. Goku is not an emo kid who mutters a quiet "cool" when he sees a motorcycle pop out of nowhere. This Dragonball is definitely evolved, but is it for the better?
Opens April 8, 2009

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Hugh Jackman is everywhere these days. He's even hosting the 81st Academy Awards!
Opens May 1, 2009

Friday the 13th
Another remake. Yay!...not. Will anyone be watching this obviously predictable horrific film? Yes, I will. Just to laugh at it. I'll buy the people watching with me a Krispy Kreme donut if it's in any way decent.
Opens February 13, 2009

Sunshine Cleaning
Think Little Miss Sunshine, except with a prettier cast, and a more intriguing story. I really like this film, Amy Adams and Emily Blunt are always a win.
Opens March 13, 2009

This seems so awesome. Who hasn't dreamed of working in a fair? Okay, I haven't, but still. Fans can also see a funnier side to Kristen Stewart, who mostly takes serious or teen angsty roles.
Opens March 27, 2009

And remember folks, don't judge a movie by its trailer!

Horror Remakes Get Scarier Every Time....Really

Has the writer's block spread so vastly that the movie franchise can no longer create new and interesting stories? Where has all the innovative writing gone to? Is it lost in the abyss of Cyberspace?

Sorry for the drama, but I just can't help but shake my head at those disappointing remakes. Particularly in horror flicks. The majority of remakes in this genre just does NOT work. The special effects crew get a little way too excited with all the superfluous computer graphics.

Here is a list of all the more popular recent remakes I know of:

1960 13 Ghosts, remade in 2001
1974 Texas Chainsaw Massacre, remade in 2003
1978 Dawn of the Dead, remade in 2004
1979 The Amityville Horror, remade in 2005
1953 House of Wax, remade in 2005
1980 The Fog, remade in 2005
1973 Wicker Man, remade in 2006
1976 The Omen, remade in 2006
1977 The Hills Have Eyes, remade in 2006
1979 When a Stranger Calls, remade in 2006
1979 Black Christmas, remade in 2006
1986 The Hitcher, remade in 2007
1978 Holloween, remade in 2007
1985 Day of the Dead, remade in 2008

Now that I've posted evidence of how ridiculously fond the entertainment people are of remakes, I'm afraid to say that it actually gets worse. They will be making a remake of Friday the 13th (in theaters Feb 13, 2009), and Nightmare On Elm Street.

Friday the 13th film poster

Don't even get me started on those sequels that just waste another 2 hours of my life. Speaking of, Scream 4 will be released in 2010.

Will the horrific horrors ever end???

I guess with the financial crisis, the producers are having trouble funding actual good writers, and they have to make do with recycling old stories instead. Or, maybe they're corrupt selfish sharks that don't want to pay good writers what they deserve. Good thing the writer's strike is over...or is it? dun dun dun, now that is a real horror.

Come on people, give the audience something new!

I mean, how hard is it to find a new way to stab, torture, maim, murder, run over, devour, cut, slice, tear, hit, pound, slay, impale, kill, kill, kill, those pretty, crazy, emo, stupid people apart, around, all over the ugly house, the weird woods, the cliched school, the creepy small town, with kitchen knives, chainsaws, zombies, masked psychopaths, deformed hillbillies, demon spawns, and freak accidents?

09 December, 2008

Superman's Girlfriend is a Street Fighter

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

I accidentally saw this and literally laughed out loud. At first I thought it was one of those fanart things, but then I realized that this is actually a serious movie. Well, as serious as a movie like this could be anyway.

Kristin Kreuk (of Smallville fame) is starring as Chun-Li, a character based on the popular video game Street Fighter. Chun-Li was previously portrayed by Ming Na Wen in the 1994 Street Fighter live action film. That film, for the record, was horrendous. And I only watched it because I was young and didn't realize the meaning of crap.

Hopefully, and I mean hopefully, Kristin Kreuk can save our memory of live action Chun-Li. The film also stars Chris Klein as Charlie Nash, Clarke Michael Duncan as Balrog, and Taboo (from Black Eyed Peas) as Vega. The movie will be directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak, who directed films such as Romeo Must Die, Doom, Cradle 2 the Grave... uh oh, that doesn't sound good.

With Dragonball poisoning my optimisim about video game/anime based live action films, I'm going to follow this with my faithful skepticism intact.

Films like this could be kryptonite for those of us actually looking for quality movie experiences. I doubt we would find some valuable life lessons in Kristin Kreuk's Chun-Li-super-kick.

Although, I admit, I'm reluctantly intrigued.

05 December, 2008

"Twilight" Film Review

After all those months of waiting, speculating, and agonizing over the Twilight phenomenon, I finally, finally watched it a mere few hours ago. The question is, did the Twilight movie deliver?

Twilight is a 2008 teenage vampire romance film directed by Catherine Hardwicke. The film is based on the Twilight novel by Stephanie Meyer. The film stars Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke, Cam Gigandet, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Nikki Reed, Kellan Lutz, Ashley Greene, and Jackson Rathbone.

I have NOT read the book. I will be reviewing this movie solely as a bystander who was only slightly influenced by both the awed fans of Twilight, and those who think that Twilight is an insipid offence to good literature.

Having said all that, I was a little skeptical of all the hoopla about the movie. By the time I got to watch it, all I expected to see was an angsty-lovey-dovey-hormonal-psuedogothic-vampire-semiaction-teenflick.

And I got exactly what I expected to see.

The movie is worth watching, there is no doubt about that, it was entertaining in itself even without the novel background. I would probably watch it even if it isn’t as uberfamous as it is. The main problem I have with this whole Twilight phenomenon is that its reputation precedes what it delivers. Was the Twilight movie even actually good?

Sure, the vampire superhuman action was fun to watch, but it left the audience a little short, especially in the final “fight scene.” Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson had a believable chemistry. And an extra kudos to Kristen Stewart, because as expected, she was an amazing actress. She brought a subtle strength to Bella that I didn’t expect her character to have. I don’t think Edward Cullen would make me immediately drop to my knees and beg him to marry me, but I understand his appeal. Robert Pattinson has definitely proven himself worthy of the “beautiful Edward Cullen” character. I also loved the rest of the Cullen family. Any scene with the whole family are my favorite scenes in the film. Seeing more of them is enough of an incentive to see the next film, “New Moon.” The music was also good, if not a little clichéd in some parts. That Debussy thing? Over the top cheesiness. But still understandable, after all, it wouldn’t have been an authentic teen-vampire-love story if some classical music wasn’t mentioned. Speaking of cheesiness, even though I’m a self-confessed hopeless romantic, there were still some parts in the film that just made me instinctively roll my eyes, particularly the parts when Edward and Bella are alone in the woods acting out the tortured love thing. Was not amused, nor entertained in those parts. Way, way, WAY too much cheese, and it wasn’t the yummy, creamy Mozzarella kind.

But overall, Twilight is a good film, and a great excuse to go to the mall after school. The movie gave me a new respect for the Twilight novel series, even if it didn’t totally convince me to want to read it. By the way, for all those who still think that the Bella character is a weak teenage girl who is absolutely obsessed with her controlling boyfriend, I disagree. In the movie (and I’m not sure if this is solely thanks to the brilliance of Kristen Stewart), Bella clearly takes charge of what she wants, and Edward was clearly the one taking orders from Bella. I don’t know about the novel, but I am really happy with how the movie portrayed Bella’s character.

So I ask again, did Twilight really deliver?


It satisfied my expectations, but to be honest, I was a skeptic from the start and I didn’t have very high expectations. Do I think the Twilight film is worthy of fanatics sleeping outside theaters waiting for the opening?

Simply. No.