Rorschach's Nightmare

Good news horror fanatics!

Jackie Earle Haley, the actor who shot to geeky fame for his recent portrayal of the anti-hero Rorschach in the blockbuster-mixed reviewed-comic fan Utopian dream Watchmen, is cast to be the new Freddie Krueger in a modern remake of the horror/slasher series classic Nightmare On Elm Street, which was popular during the 80's to 90's.

Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach in Watchmen

Robert Englund as the previous Freddie Krueger

I'm not sure if it's a reboot kind of remake, although that would seem likely, since the last Elm Street film was like, more than a decade ago. I'm not including Freddy VS Jason, because films like that are a half-assed reason to make money, the sad part is that the people who pay for it expect quality scary moments. I mean, it's TWO murdering pyscho spawns of badness, it has to be scary, right?

Evidently not.

I already made a rant about my love/hate relationship with horror movie remakes in my previous post: "Horror Remakes Get Scarier Every Time...Really", so I'm not gonna do that anymore. I've learned to accept my infinite frustrations with the black holes of entertainment.

Do I have any hope that this new Nightmare On Elm Street remake will deliver the good kind of horror?

Not really. But I plan to watch it anyway. I'm stupid like that.

Lara Croft

Growing up, there weren't too many female superheroes that us girls could count on. Aside from the scarce remnants of Wonder Woman, who was from another (older) era, we didn't really have too many heroines.

Until of course, came the lady who could make Indiana Jones drool, Lara Croft.

She was tough, cool, and British.

She became my hero, even if I never really completed any of her numerous games. Imagine my delight when in 2001, a Tomb Raider movie was announced. When I found out that Lara Croft was going to be played by Angelina Jolie, I was apathetic, I didn't really care who was going to be Lara Croft, as long as a female adventurer got up the big screen and kicked ass.

I loved the movie.

And despite the mass consensus, I loved the second one, Cradle of Life, too.

Now, they've just announce that a third Tomb Raider film is in the pre-works. However, it seems that many are voting for a story reboot. A reboot is nice, and admittedly welcomed, but I just really hope that they find an actress worthy of succeeding the mantle. Angelina Jolie owned the Lara Croft character, and someone similar to her should succeed the character.

Someone with sizable acting chops, awesome action abilities, and of course, the requisite sex appeal. Someone more than Megan Fox. Not to be judgmental, but Megan Fox has proved that she cannot insert emotion during action scenes, as evidenced in the mindless mega blockbuster hit Transformers.

This picture says it all.
Shia Labeouf - Emoting. Confused. Scared. Constipated.
Megan Fox - Squint eyes. Pout. Show cleavage. Look pretty.

Lara Croft may be created for the male audience and gamers, but I will always be grateful to my first hero. After all, other than cutesy characters made from sugar, spice, and everything stupid (yes, I'm referring to you Powerpuff Girls), there still aren't too many popular female heroes.

You could do worse than idolizing a hard-as-nails-genius-ass-kicker-British-unemotional-sexpot.

That new Tomb Raider movie better be good.

Some New Movies for a New Year!

Happy New Year everyone!

2009 is finally here, and we’ve got a whole lotta awesome movies to look forward to. Of course, some movies may bring the hype but fail to deliver the substance, still, it’s another batch of momentous films that aim to bring pure entertainment to its audience.

Here is the eclectic list of the top movies that Impromptu Audience is looking forward to this year.

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
I’ve said countless times before that I’m a junkie for quality vampire flicks, so this is a no brainer. And, I happen to love the previous Underworld films.
Directed by Patrick Tatopoulos. Stars: Michael Sheen, Rhona Mitra, and Bill Nighy. Opens January 23, 2009.

Friday the 13th
Simply because I want to murder this movie. Call it my inner Jason Voorhees.
Directed by Marcus Nispel. Stars: Derek Mears, Jared Padalecki, Amanda Righetti. Opens February 13, 2009.

Dollhouse
Okay, this is NOT a movie, but I’m a huge Joss Whedon fan, and the premise just screams awesomeness. Televisions were invented for shows like this.
Created by Joss Whedon and Eliza Dushku. Premieres February 13, 2009.

Watchmen
One of the best graphic novels ever. Awesome superhero movie. Need I say more?
Directed by Zack Snyder. Stars: Patrick Wilson, Billy Crudup, Jackie Earle Haley, Matthew Goode, Carla Gugino, Malin Akerman, Stephen McHattie, and Matt Frewer. Opens March 6, 2009.

Sunshine Cleaning
I was charmed by the trailer.
Directed by Christine Jeffs. Stars: Amy Adams, Emily Blunt, Alan Arkin, Steve Zahn. Opens March 13, 2009.

Adventureland
Seems fun. That’s a good enough reason, right?
Directed by Greg Mottola. Stars: Kristen Stewart, Ryan Reynolds, Bill Hader, Martin Starr, Kristen Wiig, Margarita Levieva, Jesse Eisenberg. Opens March 27, 2009.

Fast and Furious
The third direct sequel. Hot cars, hot people, hot action. What’s not to like?
Directed by Justin Lin. Stars: Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Paul Walker, and Jordana Brewster. Opens April 3, 2009.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
I was so disappointed by the 3rd X-men film, I hope this one can redeem the franchise.
Directed by Gavin Hood. Stars: Hugh Jackman, Live Schreiber, Ryan Reynolds, Taylor Kitsch, and Will. I. Am. Opens May 1, 2009.

Angels and Demons
The book, in my opinion, was a way better story than The Da Vinci Code. And The Da Vinci Code movie was an even bigger disappointment than the book. So, this could only get better, right? I mean, just Tom Hank’s hair makes this a better film than the previous one.
Directed by Ron Howard. Stars: Tom Hanks, Ayelet Zurer, Ewan McGregor, Stellan Skarsgard. Opens May 15, 2009.

Terminator Salvation
Batman is battling the Terminator! Okay, not quite, but still. The special effects alone should be worth paying for.
Directed by McG. Stars: Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Anton Yelchin, Bryce Dallas Howard, Moon Bloodgood, Common, Jadagrace, and Helena Bonham Carter. Opens May 22, 2009.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Most sequels tend to disappoint, I really hope this isn’t the case for the autobots.
Directed by Michael Bay. Stars: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson. Opens June 26, 2009.

2012
It’s the end of the world! Dun, dun, dun. This better be good!
Directed by Roland Emmerich. Stars: John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Danny Glover, Thandie Newton, Oliver Platt, Amanda Peet. Opens July 10, 2009.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
The sixth Harry Potter film, will it be even bigger and better and darker? That’s what they always seem to say, but from what I can see, every movie just seems to get longer. The seventh book will even span two movies!
Directed by David Yates. Stars: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint. Opens July 17, 2008.

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra
This is just like Transformers, except there are no robot aliens. In short, mindless thrilling action. Awesome.
Directed by Stephen Sommers. Stars: Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Ray Park, Rachel Nichols. Opens August 7, 2009.

That’s the list so far. It’s pretty obvious that the big-special-effects-action films are bound to be the ones to catch my special attention. I can’t help it, I love the thrill! Of course, there are subtle, quiet gems out there as well that I can’t help but fall for. I guess movies are as unpredictable as its audience.

Again...

Happy New Year people!

*

And don’t forget to watch and learn.

Christmas Movie Openings

For those who appreciate a good movie on the holidays, here are the top 3 widely awaited movies opening on December 25.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

- Recommended to the romantic types who like to warm up their hearts with this lovely story, although overheating may be expected when Benjamin Button grows older.
Directed by David Fincher. Stars Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett.

The Spirit

- Recommended to those craving some noir, edgy action amidst their merry, cheery holidays. After all, red ties are always a must on Christmas season.
Directed by Frank Miller. Stars Gabriel Macht, Samuel L. Jackson, Eva Mendez, and Sarah Paulson.

Bedtime Stories

- Recommended for those who want see an Adam Sandler comedy with their kids. Kind of like Click, except with fairy tale books.
Directed by Adam Shankman. Stars Adam Sandler, Keri Russell, and Guy Pearce.

I recommend a family dinner reunion thing on Christmas day, and an awesome movie marathon the next day. Some other big movies are also opening on Dec. 26, such as Valkyrie (Tom Cruise, Kenneth Branagh), and Revolutionary Road (Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio)

Have fun, take care, and...

Merry Christmas to all!!!

Horror Remakes Get Scarier Every Time....Really

Has the writer's block spread so vastly that the movie franchise can no longer create new and interesting stories? Where has all the innovative writing gone to? Is it lost in the abyss of Cyberspace?

Sorry for the drama, but I just can't help but shake my head at those disappointing remakes. Particularly in horror flicks. The majority of remakes in this genre just does NOT work. The special effects crew get a little way too excited with all the superfluous computer graphics.

Here is a list of all the more popular recent remakes I know of:

1960 13 Ghosts, remade in 2001
1974 Texas Chainsaw Massacre, remade in 2003
1978 Dawn of the Dead, remade in 2004
1979 The Amityville Horror, remade in 2005
1953 House of Wax, remade in 2005
1980 The Fog, remade in 2005
1973 Wicker Man, remade in 2006
1976 The Omen, remade in 2006
1977 The Hills Have Eyes, remade in 2006
1979 When a Stranger Calls, remade in 2006
1979 Black Christmas, remade in 2006
1986 The Hitcher, remade in 2007
1978 Holloween, remade in 2007
1985 Day of the Dead, remade in 2008

Now that I've posted evidence of how ridiculously fond the entertainment people are of remakes, I'm afraid to say that it actually gets worse. They will be making a remake of Friday the 13th (in theaters Feb 13, 2009), and Nightmare On Elm Street.

Friday the 13th film poster

Don't even get me started on those sequels that just waste another 2 hours of my life. Speaking of, Scream 4 will be released in 2010.

Will the horrific horrors ever end???

I guess with the financial crisis, the producers are having trouble funding actual good writers, and they have to make do with recycling old stories instead. Or, maybe they're corrupt selfish sharks that don't want to pay good writers what they deserve. Good thing the writer's strike is over...or is it? dun dun dun, now that is a real horror.

Come on people, give the audience something new!

I mean, how hard is it to find a new way to stab, torture, maim, murder, run over, devour, cut, slice, tear, hit, pound, slay, impale, kill, kill, kill, those pretty, crazy, emo, stupid people apart, around, all over the ugly house, the weird woods, the cliched school, the creepy small town, with kitchen knives, chainsaws, zombies, masked psychopaths, deformed hillbillies, demon spawns, and freak accidents?

Superman's Girlfriend is a Street Fighter

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

I accidentally saw this and literally laughed out loud. At first I thought it was one of those fanart things, but then I realized that this is actually a serious movie. Well, as serious as a movie like this could be anyway.

Kristin Kreuk (of Smallville fame) is starring as Chun-Li, a character based on the popular video game Street Fighter. Chun-Li was previously portrayed by Ming Na Wen in the 1994 Street Fighter live action film. That film, for the record, was horrendous. And I only watched it because I was young and didn't realize the meaning of crap.

Hopefully, and I mean hopefully, Kristin Kreuk can save our memory of live action Chun-Li. The film also stars Chris Klein as Charlie Nash, Clarke Michael Duncan as Balrog, and Taboo (from Black Eyed Peas) as Vega. The movie will be directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak, who directed films such as Romeo Must Die, Doom, Cradle 2 the Grave... uh oh, that doesn't sound good.

With Dragonball poisoning my optimisim about video game/anime based live action films, I'm going to follow this with my faithful skepticism intact.

Films like this could be kryptonite for those of us actually looking for quality movie experiences. I doubt we would find some valuable life lessons in Kristin Kreuk's Chun-Li-super-kick.

Although, I admit, I'm reluctantly intrigued.

More Wolverine!

Good news X-Men fans, it seems that our favorite mutant badass' solo movie is coming really soon. Hunky Australian Hugh Jackman is back to star as Wolverine. The film will tell us more about Wolverine's background, his romantic past, his relationship with Victor Creed, and will shed some light about what Weapon X really is. The film also stars Liev Schreiber, Ryan Reynold, Will. I. Am., Dominic Monaghan, and others. I'm not certain whether the title is "X-Men Origins: Wolverine", or simply "Wolverine". If it was the former, then we should probably expect solo films for all of our favorite mutants.

Meanwhile, with images like this...


I am definitely intrigued.

The film's trailer will be premiering in theaters showing The Day the Earth Stood Still. I guess that's another good reason to see Keanu Reeve's sci-fi thriller, right?

Wolverine is set to be released on May 1, 2009.

Go Ask Alice

Good news Tim Burton fans, it seems that our favorite gothic-esque director signed with Walt Disney Pictures to make his own adaptation of Alice in Wonderland. Lots of rumors have been going around about the cast in this new Alice film, mostly during last year, some even said that Sarah Michelle Gellar was a part of the movie, and as cool as that might have been, it is just not so. It's not entirely bad news though, Anne Hathaway and Helena Bonham Carter (also Tim Burton's talented wife) will be playing antithetical sisters. Anne Hathaway will be playing the White Queen, while Helena Carter will be playing the Red Queen. Mia Wasikowska will be playing Alice. Also, Johnny Depp is cast as the Mad Hatter. Helena Bonham Carter, Johnny Depp, and Tim Burton have worked together numerous times before, in films such as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Corpse Bride, and Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. This will be the fourth film wherein in Burton, Depp, and Carter will all be working together. So far their collaborations have been constantly brilliant. Will another team up be as good, or better, than their previous works? Either way, Tim Burton's take on the classical tale of Alice in Wonderland should be worth watching out for.

Alice is still in pre-production, but a couple of photos of Mia Wasikowsa during filming has popped up.

Burton's Alice adaptation is reported to be a stop motion film (i.e. the kind of animation in films such as Nightmare Before Christmas and Corpse Bride).

Alice is supposedly coming out in March 2010.

Twilight's final poster is just plain creepy

Okay, obviously I'm not an expert in the art of poster making. But glancing at this image just gives me the feeling like I'm relating a different story to the wrong image. I mean, aren't Bella and Edward supposed to be in love? I have no factual idea about how vampires are supposed to love someone, so maybe that look of murderous intent and general creepiness is a vampire's way of showing undying (pardon the pun) devotion?

There has been numerous debates about Stephanie Meyer's Twilight novel series and the main female protagonist's personality as a low self-esteem girl and her obsession with a dangerous vampire. I'm just as much of a hopeless romantic as the next girl and I've already announced my appreciation for all things vampiric, but I'm still not sure who or what to believe.

Kim Voynar's article: Is Twilight Anti-Feminist? is especially enlightening about the novel, its author, and the answers to the popular debates concerning feminism. Also, check out the comments, because there are also some very good points from the audience.

I haven't read the novels, but after hearing about all the controversy surrounding it, I kinda want to read it and form my own opinion...like now.

Goku is American

An American live-action Dragonball film will be coming out next year on April 3, 2009. The Dragonball film is directed by James Wong and produced by Stephen Chow. And stars Justin Chatwin, James Marsters, Jamie Chung, Emmy Rossum, Eriko Tamura, Joon Park, Chow Yun-Fat, Texas Battle, and Ernie Hudson.

I'm not sure whose idea it was to make an American live-action Dragonball movie, but whoever it is, they should be shot with an extra powerful kamehameha.

I watched the Dragonball anime when I was younger, I barely understood the story, but I had fun watching the crazy hairs, the bulging muscles, the weird villains, and the comic reliefs. I think that Dragonball is one of the most famous animes around. To turn a popular anime icon into something it's not is risky and somewhat distasteful. I don't understand why an American is portraying a Japanese anime hero, but I hope Justin Chatwin won't dissappoint us too much.

Having said all that, I'm still definitely going to watch this Dragonball movie. Why? Because of curiosity and the entertainment. Just the crazy hair will be worth watching.

Rob Cohen and Vin Diesel in for another round of XXX action

Sources say that producer Joe Roth is in talks with Columbia Pictures about a third XXX film, which will supposedly be called XXX: The Return of Xander Cage, which will star Vin Diesel and will be directed by Rob Cohen. Now, correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't Xander Cage (Vin Diesel's character) supposed to be dead? I mean, his death was the reason that a sequel, XXX: State of the Union (starring Ice Cube and directed by Lee Tamahori), could be made, right? Anyway, ignoring the blatant inconsistency and predictability of the movie (let me guess, Xander Cage didn't die, cue gasp of shock), having Vin Diesel starring in another action movie (without the actual acting) is even less appealing than ever. I mean, I get it, a tough looking guy with lots of muscles, bad guy gone good, action stunts galore, but really, who could ever learn anything remotely important from a film entitled: XXX?

By the way, Bablyon A.D.? Poor decision mister Vin Diesel. Poor decision.

My Spidey-sense is Tingling

Look out spideyfans, Spiderman 4 and 5 is on the way!

Sources say that Sony got Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire to return for Spiderman 4 and 5. There was no one else considered for the part of Peter Parker but Maguire. And with good reason, Maguire is great as Spiderman. There is no news yet about Kirsten Dunst’s deal, but sources say that there would be no recasting of Mary Jane even though Dunst has been having some recent rehab drama.

Even with The Dark Knight’s immense success, the Spiderman 4 and 5 team won’t be borrowing some darkness because Spiderman’s drama isn’t about Peter Parker’s struggle with his dark side, it’s his struggle with sacrifice. Spiderman 3’s short stint with the darkness was entirely because of a black suit, Peter Parker has no dark side.

Sources also say that Sony is gonna try and shoot Spiderman 4 and 5 at the same time, apparently because it’s cost effective.

I can’t wait for more Spidey goodness.

Spiderman 4 is hoping for a May 2011 release.

Source: Deadline Hollywood Daily

Watching Watchmen

Watchmen is a limited comic book series by Alan Moore and David Gibbons. The premise of Watchmen is about an alternate version of US history where the country is on the cusp of a nuclear war with the Soviet Union, and where superheroes exist. The story starts when one of the superheroes is mysteriously murdered.

What is so compelling about the Watchmen series is that most of the superheroes aren't really "super" in the traditional sense. Some of them are just ordinary people who become extraordinary through pure will and determination, and most, if not all, have their own neurotic quirks, and personal or ethical issues. Watchmen's take on the humanity and madness of superheroes, coupled with its symbolism, creative cinematic adaptations, and fascinating characters, truly makes it one of the best comic book series of all time.

And the best part?

A film is being made.

...Actually it has already been made.

The Watchmen film is directed by Zach Snyder, director of box office hit 300, ahoo! The screenplay is written by Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, Alex Tse, and David Hayter. The film stars Patrick Wilson, Jackie Earle Haley, Billy Crudup, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Malin Akerman, and Matthew Goode.

A complex, multi-layered mystery adventure, the film is set in an alternate 1985 America in which costumed superheroes are part of the fabric of everyday society, and the "Doomsday Clock" -- which charts the USA's tension with the Soviet Union -- is permanently set at five minutes to midnight. When one of his former colleagues is murdered, the washed-up but no less determined masked vigilante Rorschach sets out to uncover a plot to kill and discredit all past and present superheroes. As he reconnects with his former crime-fighting legion -- a ragtag group of retired superheroes, only one of whom has true powers -- Rorschach glimpses a wide-ranging and disturbing conspiracy with links to their shared past and catastrophic consequences for the future. Their mission is to watch over humanity...but who is watching the Watchmen?

How intensely cool does that sound?

Unfortunately, the film’s development isn’t all smooth sailing.

The problem now is whether or not the film will be released.

Apparently, Fox is suing Warner Bros because producer Lawrence Gordon failed to pay them for the picture rights of Watchmen. A judge recently denied Warner Bros' proposition to have a portion of the film's gross to go to Fox. Fox's aim is to probably block the release of the film entirely.

Studios have been trying to make a Watchmen film since the 80’s, when the comic book series was first published, and even Arnold Schwarzenegger originally wanted to be a part of the film.

For those who don’t know just how awesome Watchmen is, and how awesome the film could be, here’s the awesome trailer:

The Watchmen film should be released on March 6, 2009.