“Alice in Wonderland” – Film Review

I was flabbergasted by the incredible animation, and I didn’t even watch it on 3D…yet.

First things first, I’ve heard a many things about this Alice adaptation, some say sequel, Tim Burton himself says not, however, since this Alice would be a tad maddening (which apparently isn’t always a bad thing) if you had no inkling whatsoever about the previous Alice story, thus, I will call this Alice an extension. A spin off by a different author, who weaved a classic tale into a different style and culture.

Helena Bonham Carter is an absolute scene stealer, but then again, when isn’t she? She is the heart of the film, pun quite intended. Crispin Glover, creepily affective as always. Jonny Depp delivers, yet again, a performance unlike any other. Anne Hathaway was ever so graceful as the White Queen, and kind of psychotic as well. And as for the lovely Mia Wasikowska, she’s wonderful, pun intended yet again. Although she could have used a little more curiosity, like the Disney Alice. And we can’t forget Matt Lucas as Twiddledum and Twiddledee, I love my fat boys.

The animations were gorgeous. Dark and nightmarishly detailed, everything was: Just. Gorgeous.

I loved the story. It’s not perfect, and some parts I definitely could have done without, the eye thing with the large (feline?) monster was cliched and eye-roll worthy, but I loved it overall nonetheless. I found it fascinating that Alice was more in tune with her muchness once she accepted her delusions. It’s intriguing how impervious some people think they are when they think something is wrong with them.

This is not a film made with rainbows, spice, and everything nice. It’s dreary and disturbing, but with good reason. It’s a phantasmagoric epic that is unlike any other.

All it comes down to is this:

Tim Burton’s films – you either love them or hate them.

I happen to love them. Especially this one.

Alice: Lost my muchness have I?

"Terminator: Salvation" Film Review

Let me put it this way, when we were standing at the ticket booth deciding between Terminator: Salvation and Angels and Demons, I didn’t even hesitate.

Terminator Salvation is a sci-fi film directed by McG in 2009. It is the fourth installment in the Terminator movie series. The film stars Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Bryce Dallas Howard, Anton Yelchin, Moon Bloodgood, Common, and Helena Bonham Carter.

Christian Bale always brings A-game acting, and his incarnation of John Connor is gritty and passionate. Everybody was pretty cool, but Sam Worthington deserves an extra kudos, even if his character was predictable. This new Terminator film finally showed the audience the future after the infamous Judgment day, and the apocalyptic scenery is certainly epic. It was fun to see all the action, I especially enjoyed the scenes where Marcus (Sam Worthington) and Blair (Moon Bloodgood, awesome name by the way) were trying to escape the headquarters, the cinematography was especially spectacular in that. Actually, any scene with Sam Worthington was a win for me, and it wasn’t just because he was pretty to look at. Promise. McG did manage to make me dizzy with the camera in the beginning though, but I guess most ex-music video directors can be a little camera obsessed. Story-wise, you don’t necessarily need to watch the previous Terminator films to watch Salvation, you just need to watch those for the sake of enjoying them, because they’re awesome in themselves. I even enjoyed T3, somehow. The action was worth sitting through the cheesiness, but I'm really tired of the “a block of wires and metal can beat like a heart too” motto all the Terminator movies are fond of.

Terminator: Salvation is cool enough to waste time and money for, at least in my book, but I don’t think that it’s especially awesome.

And for all those who think that any Terminator franchise without the almighty Ahnold Sschwarzanubugger isn't authentic, well, you might be surprised.

Hasta la vista baby.

"Fast and Furious" Film Review

Fast and Furious is right about one thing, fuel is as good as gold, and I wasted a few good liters driving to the theater for this.

Fast and Furious is the fourth installment of The Fast and The Furious movies. It’s directed by Justin Lin in 2009, and stars Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez, and John Ortiz.

The first 20 minutes of the movie was alright, the hijacking action scene with the semi truck was awesome. Paul Walker’s foot chase was also very entertaining. Beyond that, the movie began to race towards disappointment. I think the problem was that they tried too hard. The later action scenes were so forced that they had to rely on CGI for most of the final showdown. The acting was so forced that they had to rely on soap opera-esque close ups and dramatic music. The story was so forced that they had to kill a character just to make the movie in the first place. They turned scene-stealer Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) into a brooding, angsty, quasi-hero, which was not of the good. I expected Vin Diesel to show us that devil may care crush you with his thumb badass who prays before a meal charm that he displayed in the first Fast and the Furious installment. Instead, all we got was a brooder who looked constipated most of the time.

And don’t even get me started on Paul Walker’s character. Here’s a little snippet from FBI agent badass wannabe Brian O’Connor:

(Getting ready to race, talking through their car windows)
Dominic Toretto: “You Ready?”
Brian O’Connor: “A lot has changed.”

What the hell was that? You have to watch it to fully understand the “...uh, okay" moment.

On second thought, don’t watch it. Not if you’re expecting more than a fourth rate action movie.

Brian O’Connor: "This is bullshit!"
Fenix Rise: "Go cry to your mama eh?"

"The Unborn" Film Review

I loved the trailer. I just wish I didn’t waste so much money to actually watch the movie.

The Unborn is a supernatural horror film directed and written by David S. Goyer in 2009. The film stars Odette Yustman, Meagan Good, Gary Oldman, Cam Gigandet, Ethan Cutkosky, James Remar, and Jane Alexander.

Another one watch wonder, if it even warrants a “wonder.” To be fair, 90% of horror movies can only be watched once to get the maximum scare effect, a rewatch would simply be like replaying a live play. I’ve had more fun watching The Strangers, and I wasn’t too kind to that movie either. The thing is, The Unborn has no brain. I mean, it doesn’t require thinking. Or rather, it pretends to require you to think, before you realize that you’ll like the film more if you don’t invest your few precious neurons to it. In The Strangers, your curiosity is endlessly piqued because you want to know about those psychopathic killers and you’re constantly wondering what will happen next and why, so you do get some justifiable thrill. With the Unborn, sure, you’re wondering why, but then the movie feeds you these backgrounds, histories, and reasons that are totally unreasonable and then you figure out that the best way to enjoy the metaphysical-ness of the story is to ignore it all. And all you can do is just wait for the scary parts to do their job. But do they do their job?

The dog with the human mask was creepy as hell, all the kids were creepy as hell (extra kudos to Ethan Cutkosky), and the exorcist twist-off was creepy as hell, but everything else in between was just a waste of time. The scare factors itself weren’t all too bad, with the surround sound and dark ambiance of the movie theater, it can certainly give you chills, I actually felt a few good goosebumps that weren’t caused by the typical freezing temperature of the movie house. The audience reactions were also a hoot, I loved hearing the movie goers scream, and giggle, a lot.

Odette Yustman, also known as the Jessica Alba and Megan Fox hybrid, tried in vain to carry the movie. It was a little hard for me to take her acting seriously when she’s strutting her panty-clad ass towards the screen. The only sparkling personality is Meagan Good, who plays the inevitably killed best friend. That’s only a spoiler if you’re too dense to realize that best friends always die in these horror films. I kinda cheered quietly when I saw Gary Oldman on the screen. With his appearance, I thought maybe the movie would grant us a little sense to make the average intellectual happy. But then, he and his Christian priest friend decided to sprout off pretentious facts about the history of the world, religion, and the almighty dybbuk, and I just started to zone out until the final showdown.

Overall, The Unborn is twice as fun (which still isn’t as fun as you’d want) if you watch it in its run in the theaters, but was the ticket price ultimately worth it? Not to me.

"Taken" Film Review

When my friends told me about Taken, I thought I was going to see a broken father out on a desperate search for his precious daughter and in the end we’ll find a heartwarming, tearjerker reunion. Well, this movie isn’t quite what I expected.

Taken is an action-thriller film directed by Pierre Morel in 2008. The film stars Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace, Famke Janssen, and Katie Cassidy.

Liam Neeson plays Bryan Mills, an ex-spy who retires from his dangerous job to be closer to his daughter Kim, played by Maggie Grace. Ever the adventure-seeking teenager, Kim goes to Europe for a vacation with her friend Amanda, played by Katie Cassidy. After arriving, the girls are immediately abducted by a dangerous gang known for drugging female tourists to traffic them as prostitutes. Bryan Mills then uses all his ex-spy skills to look for his daughter amongst the vapid throes of an Albanian gangster.

Taken is by no means a drama, it is a frenetic action thriller that sucks you in its frantic pace and brutality. I found Liam Neeson’s portrayal of a loving father hard to swallow after seeing his character stoically shoot an innocent woman to compel her husband to talk. A woman who even cooked him dinner. I honestly didn’t appreciate the blatant split personality of Neeson’s character. One minute ever the desperately broken father, the next a pseudo-James Bond who is older and harsher, who had no qualms whatsoever about torture and murder. Having said that, I can’t imagine any other actor playing the character. Liam Neeson has a face made for stoicism, and Taken is full of it. In every sense.

I didn’t realize that it was Maggie Grace who played Kim until I saw her name in the credits, for one thing, I thought Grace was a little too old to be playing a 17 year old character, so I assumed that it was only an uncanny resemblance to the actress who induced a million eye rolls in The Fog. But alas, it really was her. As someone on her last year of teenagedom, I was offended that someone would portray a 17 year old like a wince-inducing petulant 12 year old.

I was admittedly very impressed with Taken’s bone-crunching fist fights and takedowns, as would any other action junkie. The film delivers thrill factor easily, and the audience may certainly appreciate being thrust into a heart-pounding ride. It even induces a few goosebumps and body tensing moments. But the whole Taken film has a shameless air that people who actually care about what they’re watching may not care for. Confused? So am I, a little. The point is that after watching this film, it leaves you somewhat breathless, and partly wondering on whether or not you just wasted 87 minutes of your life on a brutal show which pretends to have a story.

Bryan: "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."
Marko: [after a long pause] "Good luck."

"The Alphabet Killer" Film Review

Within the drama of The Alphabet Killer lies a true story, and you cannot help but feel a churning in your stomach when you realize that those brutalities actually happened to some young girls in the real world.

The Alphabet Killer is a thriller movie directed by Rob Schmidt in 2008. It is based on the true stories of the murders in Rochester, New York during the late 1970’s. It stars Eliza Dushku, Cary Elwes, Michael Ironside, Bill Moseley, and Timothy Hutton.

(Contains Slight Spoilers.)


The movie immediately opens with a foray into an abduction of a young girl. It’s haunting enough, and certainly disturbing. Most of the film’s atmosphere is constantly grim, which is admittedly apt since raping and murdering several girls is obviously not a light subject. The Alphabet Killer is an effective movie, as in it is satisfactory in its cinematography, sounds, lighting, special effects, and the characters do have the ability to intrigue the audience. The shaky camera, gloomy air, and eerie music does add a lot to the feel, it resembles the film Zodiac, but modern and bluer, if that makes sense. Eliza Dushku as Megan Paige, the protagonist, fits into her role like it was made just for her. She plays the damaged, earnest detective more than well, and she gives a hauntingly sympathetic performance as we follow her character’s roller coaster ride into an absolute hysteria and mental breakdown. Mucho kudos to her. However, I wasn’t particularly impressed with Cary Elwes, who plays Kenneth Shine. I’ve never even been to New York, and I can tell how horrendous his accent was with his British slant shining through occasionally. The other cast members also give their fair share of brief, yet exceptional performances.

The Alphabet Killer may come off as a supernatural horror flick when you judge it by its promos, posters, and trailers. And although it does spook its audience once in a while, the “spirits” that we see are actually an insight into the mind of a schizophrenic. Those ghostly apparitions seemed to only serve to douse the film with some actual horror and thrill factor. Still, it was impressive how those apparitions blurred the lines between realism and supernaturalism so that the audience can go with either way. Like I said, I think The Alphabet Killer is an effective movie. It delivers a good amount of thrill and realism that audiences may engage themselves in, and it has a story that is truly worth knowing about. However, the film has its share of errors in being an affective movie. A story about a serial killer raping and murdering several young girls can certainly affect a person, but with Megan Paige’s distracting schizophrenic delusions, the main theme of the film somewhat gets deluded as well. It’s a struggle to pinpoint exactly what those hallucinations are supposed to tell us, if it’s supposed to tell us anything.

Overall, the Alphabet Killer is a satisfactory film. It was like a two hour cop tv show episode (and I happen to really like cop tv shows), only a bit more intense, a bit more interesting, a bit more creepy, and just a bit more everything. Extra kudos again to the actors, specifically Eliza Dushku. The only thing that I prominently disliked about the Alphabet Killer was the ending, and no, it’s not just because of the fact that I’m a sucker for happy endings. But the last few scenes of the film had the potential to be an ultimately heart pounding conclusion, instead, it was a total cop out that harshly teased its audiences to wait for a sequel. Which begs the question, is the sequel worth watching? Sure, we want to see how our tortured heroine would finally fight her persistently creepy demons, and we definitely want to see the bad guy die a horrible, horrible, horrible death, but my spite for the cop out ending might just convince me not to watch the second film at all. Yeah, I was that pissed.

Oh, who am I kidding?

I want to see the bad guy die a horrible, horrible, horrible death.

Megan is trying to calm a gun-wielding man down.
Megan: You know what they're calling this out there? Hostage situation.
Glen: Those Fucking bastards!
Megan: You know what I see? An argument. Does that make sense?
Glen: (quietly) Yes
Megan: And what do you think Elizabeth?
Elizabeth: (indignant) He tried to rape me!
Megan stares at her.
Elizabeth: Which, I guess, led to an argument.

"Changeling" Film Review

It’s no wonder why Changeling received great reviews when it premiered in the 61st Cannes Film Festival early last year in May.

Changeling is a period drama film directed and co-produced by Clint Eastwood in 2008. The film is written by J. Michael Straczynski, and stars Angelina Jolie, John Malkovich, Jeffrey Donovan, Gattlin Griffith, Jason Butler Harner, and Amy Ryan.
(May Contain Spoilers)

The story of Changeling itself, which is based on true events, is truly compelling on its own. The actors’ performances only add another level of depth to the film. Angelina Jolie deserves every letter of praise she gets. She performed with endless grace and poise truly reminiscent of a lady in the 20’s era. Jolie managed to convey an innate strength and earnest tenacity to her character, even when she was nose to nose with a psychopathic killer, was thrown into an insane asylum, and was verbally manipulated by a man who was supposed to protect her. Jason Butler Harner as Gordon Northcott was amazing. Normally, that type of bumbling clumsiness would get on my nerves, but Harner delivers an eerily pathetic plight to his psychotic character that makes you want to slap him in both fury and pity. John Malkovich, as usual, is enigmatic yet magnetic. Jeffrey Donovan as J.J. Jones, the police captain, is every bit the charming snake that we all love to hate, and hate even more because his clean cut prestige is completely wasted by his lack of a heart and soul.

One of the best scenes I loved in the Changeling film was in the first few minutes wherein we get to see the relationship between Angelina Jolie’s character Christine Collins, and her son Gattlin Griffith’s character, Walter. Christine and Walter exhibit a quietly intense dependence on each other. One of the little details that clearly show this love is when Christine and Walter were on the bus. The bus stops at Walter’s school, and as he leaves the bus to enter the school, Christine escorts him off the bus, affectionately ruffles his head, and returns to the bus again to continue her journey. It was completely illogical because she could have just said her goodbyes without having to get out of the bus, but it was also the obsessive fussing that clearly shows a mother’s instinctual love, the need to be as close to your child as long as possible even if it’s just a mere few steps. Another one of the best scenes I loved, of course, is the court scene wherein the Captain and Police Chief totally got what they deserved, I also loved the part where Christine confronted Gordon Northcott before the day of his execution, it was intense, disturbing, and goosebumps worthy.

The detailed arrangement of the whole set to emulate the 20’s ambiance and design was absolutely riveting, everything was so perfectly coifed and pressed to a believable 20’s era casual glamour. The music was also great, very in tuned with the emotion of the scene. Overall, Changeling delivers a heavy story with a heavy message, and it does so without making the audience faint with the heaviness.

Changeling is as much about a missing child and his mother’s desperate attempt to find him, as it is about the shameless corruption of people in power, and the constant demeaning of women. A film that wraps itself around all of these issues, and successfully tackles each one and does even more, deserves an extra kudos. And I’ll leave that extra one to the Oscars.

And remember folks, a mother’s love always wins.

Christine Collins: "He's not my son."
Capt. J.J. Jones: "Mrs. Collins..."
Christine Collins: "No, I don't know why he's saying that he is, but he's not Walter and there's been a mistake."
Capt. J.J. Jones: "I thought we agreed to give him time to adjust."
Christine Collins: "He's three inches shorter; I measured him on the chart."
Capt. J.J. Jones: "Well, maybe your measurements are off. Look, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for all of this."
Christine Collins: "He's circumcised and Walter isn't."
Capt. J.J. Jones: "Mrs. Collins, your son was missing for five months, for at least part of that time in the company of an unidentified drifter. Who knows what such a disturbed individual might have done. He could have had him circumcised. He could have..."
Christine Collins: "...made him shorter?"

"The House Bunny" Film Review

This movie was pure chick flick fun. No more, no less.

The House Bunny is a romantic comedy directed by Fred Wolf in 2008. Co-produced by Adam Sandler, Anna Faris and others, and written by Legally Blonde writers, Kirsten Smith and Karen McCullah Lutz. The film stars Anna Faris, Kat Dennings, Emma Stone, Rumer Willis, Katharine McPhee, and others.

I know that this is a typical comedy chick flick, complete with fashion montages, the make-over, boys who “like girls for who they are,” the heroine fighting with her frenemies, the heroine fighting with her friends, the heroine being friends with her friends again, really cheesy speeches in front of a bunch of uptight people, and those uptight people eventually being won over by the cheesy speech. Basically, just add Hugh Hefner and a sorority angle to the mix and you get the House Bunny. Still, having ranted about the predictability of this chick flick, I really actually enjoyed this film.

Anna Faris’ facial expressions are pure win. Her comedic timing, presence, and her courage and eagerness to let herself look and act absolutely stupid deserves much, much kudos. I first noticed Anna Faris in the movie “Just Friends” with Ryan Reynolds, and after seeing her in the “toothpaste scene,” and hearing her squeak out her Britney Spears-like voice had me belly laugh out loud. Now, every time I hear her exorcist-like expression in this film, I can’t help but chortle. Faris however, isn’t the only star in this movie, it also includes a surprisingly funny and charming band of misfits. Kat Dennings as the sarcastic Mona is a scene stealer, her snarky quips are quick and unapologetic. Emma Stone as the jolly and optimistic Natalie was another pleasant surprise. Of course, Katharine McPhee and Rumer Willis were both dedicated and charming in their roles as well. Also, I sat up in attention every time Tyson Ritter (of All-American Rejects) was on screen.

The House Bunny is admittedly funnier than your average, run of the mill, typical comedy chick flick. Anna Faris is an exceptional female comedienne, and I hope we see more of her soon. There are too few funny women on the big screen nowadays. Another thing that makes the movie so charming is the way everyone seems to be having genuine fun with their characters. I would have loved to see the outtakes in this film. The music was great and the look was good. Although I'm still a little confused why Kat Dennings’ character looked worse after “the make over,” but over all, everyone was as gorgeous as we expected them to be.

I can’t really say anything negative about this movie, because expecting too much out of a movie like this is just plain stupid. You can’t really expect a ground-breaking, life-changing message from a film called House Bunny, can you? The House Bunny does what we all expect it to do, deliver the modern-fashioned entertainment that we all reluctantly love/like/tolerate? Still, I really, really, hope, pray, wish, and f*cking expect sometime soon, that someone in the movie world will figure out a way to empower women with methods that do not involve getting their hair done and having lessons on how to put on make-up and act like a ho.

By the way, the fact that Anna Faris’ character realized how to be true to herself thanks to an allergic reaction to erythromycin automatically gives this film an extra kudos.

Shelley: "My allergic reaction made me feel beautiful."

"Saw V" Film Review

92 minutes of my young life, dirtied and wasted.

Saw V is horror film directed by David Hackl in 2008. This is the fifth movie in the Saw franchise. It stars Julie Benz, Meagan Good, Tobin Bell, Costas Mandylor, Scott Patterson, and Betsy Russell.

My friends and I watched Saw V on a whim, because we wanted to be entertained. Well, wrong move. Most of my friends slept through the parts where the two detectives were playing their boring little game of cat and mouse. Saw V didn’t seem like a movie at all, it was barely even an attempt at horror or thrill, and could have just as easily been a 92 minute deleted scene. Not even Tobin Bell’s chilling performance as the psychopathic life coach, Jonathan Kramer (aka The Jigsaw Killer), could save this ridiculous half-assed movie. Sure, the puzzles were as disgusting and unthinkable as they ever were and the victims were as annoying and stupid as we hoped they wouldn’t be, but the whole scenario is pointless and totally unrelated to anything that was happening in the “main story.” And the main story, is a complete waste of time. The audience already knew (since the previous film actually) who the new Jigsaw killer was, so there was no suspense at all. The attempt in making the apprentice killer appear like a tortured hero out for revenge against the true evils of the world, is quite simply, lame. Not only that, the casting was a poor choice as well, or maybe it was the stylist’s fault, because my friends had a little trouble discerning which detective was which since they looked a lot alike. The dark lighting and environment didn’t help at all.

I don’t know what I was thinking when I expected a Saw movie to satisfy my craving for some entertainment. To be fair though, I admit that I was a little entertained by Saw V, after all, I couldn't help but quietly chuckle every so often by its pure awfulness. I mean sure, the first Saw film was unlike any slasher/horror flick I’ve ever seen, and it was genius-like in its numerous twists. However, the succeeding films only serve to exploit the disturbing human curiosity for morbidity and gore. Saw V is proof that the franchise is getting worse and that nobody really cares as long as they get their fix of torture porn.

Wrong move, man. So wrong.

Jigsaw: “Vengeance can change a person. It can make them realize what they’re capable of.”

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Film Review

Tip before watching this film: Go pee.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a film very loosely on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald in 1921. David Fincher directed the film, and Eric Roth wrote the screenplay. The film stars Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Taraji P. Henson, Julia Ormond, Tilda Swinton, Mahershalalhashbaz Ali, Jared Harris, and Jason Flemyng.

Watching this movie is a daunting task, simply because of the length of it, almost a whopping three hours. However, once it starts, you can’t take your eyes off the screen, every flinch in Benjamin Button’s face is as curiously intriguing as the next. The whole movie is visually amazing, the gradual progress of time from the glamorous 20’s era to the hectic years after the turn of the millennium are perfectly subconscious. The flow of the whole movie is smooth and befitting in the tale that it spins. Every character has a memorable moment, and they affect the audience almost as much as they affect Benjamin Button himself. I was tremendously flabbergasted by how they created Benjamin Button on screen during his younger (older) years. I just couldn’t fathom how this tiny little creature with Brad Pitt’s unmistakable face is moving around realistically in sync with the environment. My friends and I figured that there was some CGI involved, but it was so flawless that you could barely recognize what was Pitt’s real flesh, and what was CGI.

The performances definitely deliver to the mass expectations, but I was more impressed with Cate Blanchett’s acting, especially during her character’s younger years. She had an endless grace, and a mesmerizing presence. Not to mention, she was absolutely gorgeous. Brad Pitt is the crème de la crème of the top male leads, and we finally get hard proof that he is not just another pretty face. However, I was more impressed with his presence when his character was younger (older), I preferred the childlike wonder in his eyes and manner, rather than the stoicism of his later presence reminiscent of Brad Pitt’s character in Meet Joe Black. I was also pleasantly surprised that there were some clever comedic moments, especially when the scene included Taraji P. Henson who played Benjamin Button’s foster mother Queenie.

Even though the movie brings two of the most respected stars in the industry, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is so much more than just seeing Brad Pitt as an old guy. The story is even more compelling than the picturesque scene it entails. The adventurous journey of Benjamin Button through love, life, and loneliness is like a warm balm to the heart, something that we all need especially in these times of coldness. The theme of the film isn’t arguably new, most of the messages are already something we’ve heard somewhere before, and there aren’t really any immensely melodramatic plot twists. Instead of a thrilling roller coaster ride with high heights and g-force pushing lows, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is akin to a long, slow, satisfying massage. Like a childhood lullaby that gives you dreams even while you’re awake. Like a lovely fairy tale that you keep wanting to hear again and again.

Benjamin Button: "For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit... start whenever you want... you can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that stop you. I hope you feel things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

"Tropic Thunder" Film Review

Tropic Thunder was said to be the funniest film of the year. I’d have to agree.

Tropic Thunder is a 2008 comedy action film directed, produced, starred, and co-written by Ben Stiller. The film also stars Robert Downey Jr., Jack Black, Jay Baruchel, Brandon T. Jackson, Tom Cruise, Nick Nolte, Matthew McConaughey, Danny McBride, Steve Coogan, and other several cameos from various actors.

Ben Stiller is a genius. The plot twists are all predictable comedic camp, but to be honest, who would watch this film for the oh-so significant plot? The fun in watching Tropic Thunder is the fact that it’s absolutely and shamelessly mindless, in a good way of course. The satire is quick and relentless, and the attack on typical actor melodramas are every bit as entertaining as it could be. Although there are some parts that call for those pity laughs, wherein you’re forced to smile at the desperate attempts at humor, but they’re easily overwhelmed by the good parts. Robert Downey Jr.’s portrayal of Kirk Lazarus, a white method actor portraying a black war veteran, is brilliant. His shift from an Australian slang to a stereotypical jive lingo is seamless. Surprisingly enough, I was pleased with Jack Black’s part in this movie. Maybe it’s because his character was constantly suffering, and I couldn’t help but chuckle whenever he was writhing in pain. Ben Stiller’s character, Tugg Speedman, loves pandas above all else, and therefore he is awesome. Tom Cruise was a great surprise, and he was intensely devoted to his foul-mouthed character.

Overall Tropic Thunder delivers to the hype it generated. The movie is funny even before it starts, and even up until after it finishes, you can’t help but still watch. Of course, Tropic Thunder isn’t perfect, some awkward overacting are apparent, and I would have preferred it if there was a representation of the other half of the world in the movie, i.e. women. Still, Tropic Thunder is one of the best comedies around, infinitely better than other pathetic satirical films, like the Scary Movie series and its spin-offs. And even if it’s not your type of comedy, it’s still a pretty good action film.

Tugg Speedman: "There were times while I was playing Jack where I felt... retarded. Like, really retarded."
Kirk Lazarus: "Damn!"
Tugg Speedman: "In a weird way I had to sort of just free myself up to believe that is was ok to be stupid or dumb."

"Twilight" Film Review

After all those months of waiting, speculating, and agonizing over the Twilight phenomenon, I finally, finally watched it a mere few hours ago. The question is, did the Twilight movie deliver?

Twilight is a 2008 teenage vampire romance film directed by Catherine Hardwicke. The film is based on the Twilight novel by Stephanie Meyer. The film stars Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke, Cam Gigandet, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Nikki Reed, Kellan Lutz, Ashley Greene, and Jackson Rathbone.

I have NOT read the book. I will be reviewing this movie solely as a bystander who was only slightly influenced by both the awed fans of Twilight, and those who think that Twilight is an insipid offence to good literature.

Having said all that, I was a little skeptical of all the hoopla about the movie. By the time I got to watch it, all I expected to see was an angsty-lovey-dovey-hormonal-psuedogothic-vampire-semiaction-teenflick.

And I got exactly what I expected to see.

The movie is worth watching, there is no doubt about that, it was entertaining in itself even without the novel background. I would probably watch it even if it isn’t as uberfamous as it is. The main problem I have with this whole Twilight phenomenon is that its reputation precedes what it delivers. Was the Twilight movie even actually good?

Sure, the vampire superhuman action was fun to watch, but it left the audience a little short, especially in the final “fight scene.” Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson had a believable chemistry. And an extra kudos to Kristen Stewart, because as expected, she was an amazing actress. She brought a subtle strength to Bella that I didn’t expect her character to have. I don’t think Edward Cullen would make me immediately drop to my knees and beg him to marry me, but I understand his appeal. Robert Pattinson has definitely proven himself worthy of the “beautiful Edward Cullen” character. I also loved the rest of the Cullen family. Any scene with the whole family are my favorite scenes in the film. Seeing more of them is enough of an incentive to see the next film, “New Moon.” The music was also good, if not a little clichéd in some parts. That Debussy thing? Over the top cheesiness. But still understandable, after all, it wouldn’t have been an authentic teen-vampire-love story if some classical music wasn’t mentioned. Speaking of cheesiness, even though I’m a self-confessed hopeless romantic, there were still some parts in the film that just made me instinctively roll my eyes, particularly the parts when Edward and Bella are alone in the woods acting out the tortured love thing. Was not amused, nor entertained in those parts. Way, way, WAY too much cheese, and it wasn’t the yummy, creamy Mozzarella kind.

But overall, Twilight is a good film, and a great excuse to go to the mall after school. The movie gave me a new respect for the Twilight novel series, even if it didn’t totally convince me to want to read it. By the way, for all those who still think that the Bella character is a weak teenage girl who is absolutely obsessed with her controlling boyfriend, I disagree. In the movie (and I’m not sure if this is solely thanks to the brilliance of Kristen Stewart), Bella clearly takes charge of what she wants, and Edward was clearly the one taking orders from Bella. I don’t know about the novel, but I am really happy with how the movie portrayed Bella’s character.

So I ask again, did Twilight really deliver?

Well…

It satisfied my expectations, but to be honest, I was a skeptic from the start and I didn’t have very high expectations. Do I think the Twilight film is worthy of fanatics sleeping outside theaters waiting for the opening?

Simply. No.

"Quantum of Solace" Film Review

The theater was packed, and we had to watch this movie sitting on the second row from the front. Consequently, I had a massive headache after 2 hours of closely staring at frenetic action scenes. But was it all worth it?

Simply. Yes.

Quantum of Solace is the 22nd Bond film and also the first direct sequel to its predecessor, which is Casino Royale. The movie is directed by Marc Foster in 2008. It stars Daniel Craig, Judi Dench, Olga Kurylenko, Gemma Arteron, Judi Dench, Jeffrey Wright, Giancarlo Gianinni, and Mathieu Amalric.

(There may be slight spoilers. For a full film synopsis, go to the Quantum of Solace page at Wikipedia.)

First and foremost, the previous Bond films were humorous and bordering on sci-fi comedy. Daniel Craig’s James Bond is definitely gritty and more realistic. More human. He’s a secret agent folks, he’s supposed to be harsh, brutal, and violent. In Quantum of Solace, things are even more brutal, both physically and emotionally. Honestly, I don’t think that Quantum of Solace is better than Casino Royale. Casino Royale was a love story that introduced James Bond’s humanity to the audience. Quantum of Solace depicts Bond’s quest for revenge to those responsible for Vesper’s betrayal and death.

Daniel Craig owns this film. He carries the whole story with every bit of his sexy-cool stoicism intact, with just enough of some handsome sadness in his eyes to remind us that he is not a robot, despite physically impossible occurrences, such as walking away without any broken bones after free-falling from an airplane. But shoving all that in the part of our minds called suspension of disbelief, the action scenes and chases are definitely heart pound worthy. Action fans, even if they’re not James Bond fans (if there are such cases), would be very happy with this flick. I also appreciated the fact that the Bond girls, Camille (Olga Kurylenko) in particular, weren’t completely helpless ingénues. It seems that Bond girls keep progressing into stronger fighters in every Bond film. Also love the complicated relationship between M and Bond.

(Talking about M)
Camille: Your mother?
James: No, but she likes to think she is.

I think that dialogue pretty much sums them up.

I wasn’t impressed with the villain, Dominic Greene. Mathieu Amalric, the actor, was great, but I wasn’t all that worried by him, which could be a worrying thing for a villain. Through the Bond villain history, we’ve seen a martial artist with a different face, a creepy guy who can’t feel pain, a sweaty dude who bleeds from his eye, and some other whoah-worthy bad guys. But what does Greene do? He turns into Maria Sharapova while wielding an axe.

As for that oh-so important theme song opening that everyone is harping about. Well, the dancing women are back, if that matters at all. Although, I am quite disappointed that James Bond didn’t do that "about face and shoot at the camera" thing that he does in every film. But, there is a particular scene in the film that consistent 007 fans would notice, it involves replacing gold with motor oil on a body. That’s all I’ll say.

Ultimately, Quantum of Solace is a gritty action film, that takes another step away from the stereotypical 007 film. Although we don’t get to see invisible cars, laser watches, or machines that harness the sun’s power to reign terror over the world, this 007 movie contains every bit of what was missing in the previous films: James Bond’s character. Camille's character is particularly important, her back story and parallel reflection with James makes their relationship much more meaningful than just another casual Bond fling. It’s easy to throw exotic places, beautiful women, awesome gadgets, wicked villains, and a hunky British secret agent together, but it’s harder to make the story in the film actually matter. So kudos to Quantum of Solace, with some extra praise for Daniel Craig.

Other than that, Quantum of Solace holds 2nd place in my list of favorite 007 movies, 1st place still remains with Casino Royale. I hope the third Craig/Bond movie can do even bigger and better.

"Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog" Film Review

Dr. Horrible is Incredible

I finally, finally, watched Dr. Horrible. Of course, most Joss Whedon fans would have already watched this movie about a million times now, but I, as the utter idiot that I am, failed to watch Dr. Horrible during its free viewing in July. Thankfully, a kind, lovely, super awesome, (I am forever grateful to) friend gave me a copy.

Dr. Horrible is a 2008 short musical movie that was created by Joss Whedon, with his siblings Jed and Zack Whedon, and Maurissa Tancharoen. It stars Neil Patrick Harris, Felicia Day, Nathan Filion, and Simon Helberg, with several cameos from directors and actors close to Joss Whedon.

As usual, Whedon manages to capture the audience's hearts and makes them fall in love with the characters. And of course, as usual, Whedon breaks our hearts at the exact same time. The music is brilliant. Felicia Day's sweet and heart rendering vocals coupled with Neil Patrick Harris' honest and vulnerable voice is amazing. I can't stop listening to "On The Rise."

Dr. Horrible is a funny, not so straightforward musical, that can twist your insides in the end. Like most of any work Joss Whedon is involved in, this movie makes you laugh out loud and root for the "bad guy," it absolutely entertains you and makes you feel smart when you can relate the antics to societal/personal issues, then it quickly leaves you off with a large lump in your throat that you either swallow or burp out with a chuckle. However you take it though, Dr. Horrible will leave you feeling full, and yet definitely still craving for more.

Joss. Is. God.

And I want a PHD in horribleness.

"The Strangers" Film Review

I saw this film thanks to a friend’s insistence. I can’t say I’m completely disappointed, at least my curiosity is relieved, and it was a good enough reason to go to the mall. The Strangers was released months ago during May in the US, but it just recently showed here in the Philippines.

The Strangers in a horror/slasher film directed and written by Bryan Bertino in 2008. The movie stars Liv Tyler, Scott Speedman, and Gemma Ward.

(Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. And even more spoilers. You are duly warned.)

There are tons of (admittedly) scary appearances, creepy scenes, and people scaring other people just for the hell of it. The scare factor in The Strangers is good, but only for a one-time viewing. Needless to say, it’s not rewatchable (I know it’s not a word, bear with me). The meaninglessness of the whole film gets to you after half an hour of watching Liv Tyler crawling around the woods. After a while, I got tired of the chase, hide, and run routine and I just wanted to know why, why, oh why, those masked people were doing what they were doing in such an ugly fashion (somewhat literally, what’s up with that suit?).

Unfortunately, after all that tedious hullabaloo, The Strangers doesn’t quench the audience’s thirst for an answer. Part of me can somewhat grasp that grave psychopathological damage is enough of a motivation for those masked people, maybe they really did just want to kill people for the hell of it, but that is such a cop out reason. Why wear those masks if you’re gonna kill those people anyway? Why remove those masks if you’re gonna kill those people anyway? Why kill those people? Why those people? No answers at all. The Strangers doesn’t even pretend to have any significant reason, it’s just a playground of insanity and malice. The last fifteen minutes of the movie is particularly horrible, in every sense. And, why in the world are those children so frickin creepy? The constant scowl on their faces makes me think that maybe they’re the evil masterminds behind all the madness. I mean really, they didn’t even scream when they saw those bodies, in fact the bodies screamed when they saw the children!

I have to applaud all the actors, Liv Tyler, Scott Speedman, Kip Weeks, Gemma Ward, and Laura Margolis. Tyler and Speedman were convincing. The emotional turmoil they were under even before the masked people came was heartbreaking in itself, and it made a disturbingly touching moment in the end when Speedman’s character, James Hoyt, saw Tyler’s character Kristen McKay wearing the engagement ring. They helped make the pointless movie bearable.

The problem I have with The Strangers is that it wasted a perfectly good opportunity to explore a disturbingly intriguing subject, psychopathic killers. The film was supposedly based on the Manson killers, and Liv Tyler has mentioned that the original script had more scenes with the masked people, so why didn’t they show that instead? All we get in the film is scare factor fodder that gets old after the tenth time we see the masks show up then leave. To be honest, placing myself in that situation, out in the middle of nowhere in an unfamiliar house with insane strangers trying to kill me, just genuinely imagining it scares the crap out of me. What I'm saying is that the film could have been better.

But it wasn't that bad though, the director, Bryan Bertino, made good use of that creepy omg-I-think-someone-is-watching-me-omg-I-think-something-just-touched-me-omg-I-think-someone-is-out-there feeling that you get when you’re alone in an unfamiliar place. Because in this film, someone really is out there. The music was also a good touch for creepiness, the broken record heightens the panic during tense scenes.

Don’t expect any groundbreaking insight into the minds of psychopaths, don’t expect any confusing plot twists and surprises, and don’t expect any happy ending closure goodness. But overall, The Strangers is a good enough flick if you’re looking to waste an afternoon getting an adrenaline rush.

Also, I was quite surprised (and impressed) to find out that the masked people, whose faces the audience never ever saw, are actually really good looking actors.

Gemma Ward, the blonde masked dollface is an Australian model. Ward is reported to be the youngest model ever to be listed as the American Vogue’s “It Girls.”

Laura Margolis the Pin-Up Mask girl, she plays Daisy from Dirty Sexy Money.

Kip Weeks.

"Eagle Eye" Film Review

I am not "activated."

Great performances. Recycled plot.

Eagle Eye is a 2008 action film directed by D.J. Caruso and produced by a number of big Hollywood names such as Steven Spielberg. The film stars Shia LeBeouf, Michelle Monaghan, Rosario Dawson, Billy Bob Thornton, Ethan Embry, Anthony Mackie, Michael Chiklis, and Cameron Boyce.

I went into the theater having only seen the brief teaser trailers. I haven’t seen the extended trailers, so I basically had no clue what Eagle Eye was about, except that Shia LeBeouf and Michelle Monaghan’s characters are in for a wild, dangerous ride thanks to an anonymous antagonist.

The antagonist is given away maybe 30 minutes into the film. After that, pretty much everything that happens is based on the antagonist’s powers and the escapades that the main characters have to go through to do its bidding. Once the audience knows about the main antagonist, it’s pretty obvious what must be done to stop it.


(Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. You are duly warned.)


Shia LeBeouf’s performance is pretty much constantly phenomenal. Especially the scenes where he visits his twin’s burial, and the scene where he purposely risked his life to stop the bomb. Intense, heartbreaking, and goosebumps worthy. Michelle Monaghan was great too, her character was understandably lost, and her expressive eyes showed the vulnerability that comes with that territory. Rosario Dawson and Billy Bob Thornton performed brilliantly as well. Overall, the actors were amazing.

The plot however, is as mentioned above, recycled. I’ve seen, heard, and watched about computers running amok and brutally doing what they are programmed to do about a hundred times before. Of course, with a Steven Spielberg film, you can expect thrilling action and a frenetic pacing that can hold your interest throughout the entire film. Still, after the audience knows that the villain is a computer, everything else in Eagle Eye becomes somewhat predictable. But scanning voice vibration echoes from a coffee cup? Really? I’m an impressionable person, but even us young ones have to draw the line between suspension of disbelief and simple disbelief. Almost everything, if not actually everything, in the movie is technologically impossible. I hope. Sometimes the computer’s (called Aria) abilities are so ridiculous, that you just can’t help but shake your head in mixed annoyance and disappointment. D.J. Caruso did such a good job with the fast pace of the movie that it covers the massively ludicrous plot.

It was recently reported that Eagle Eye is the 4th highest opening movie of all time in the month of September. Understandable, because the cast is amazing. Other than that, Eagle Eye is an entertaining movie with great cast performances, great action and effects, and a below-okay plot.

It’s only thanks to the cast, specifically Shia LeBeouf, that Eagle Eye is worth watching in my book.

"Wall-E" Film Review

I've been waiting to see this film for ages. Wall-E is officially my favorite CGI animated film. Of all time.



Wall-E is a 2008 computer animated film from Walt Disney Pictures, produced by Pixar Animation Studios, and directed by Andrew Stanton.



For a full film synopsis, go to wikipedia.



Wall-E is an animated film that definitely takes the CGI potential to the next level. The whole film is a visual eye candy; the graphics are simply breathtaking. Furthermore, Wall-E's movements and robotic motion are so perfectly synced and meticulously planned that you can't help but be in awe of the creators of this visual masterpiece. Wall-E's graphics are that of Final Fantasy: Advent Children level, possibly even higher. And that's saying a lot.



And the story is just as beautiful as its graphics. There are barely any actual words from the main characters, Wall-E and Eve, but as they say, actions speak louder than words. The main dialogue comes from the humans who react to Wall-E, and we get a glimpse of a world that has lost the basic human wonders by their own creations. In the midst of the political, economical, and environmental insinuations and allegories, Wall-E is first and foremost, a love story. Wall-E, the sympathetic small robot who lives for trash, unwittingly brings the human civilization back to its roots, because it fell in love with Eve (Extraterrestrial Vegetation Evaluator). I can’t stress enough just how cute Wall-E is, so I won’t even try. But some are complaining that the decidedly mature, political message of Wall-E is not fit for an animated film intended for children.



I say cow manure.



What would they prefer? A clueless sponge’s meaningless escapades with a cynical squid and a retarded starfish?



Propaganda's and “evils of mankind” aside, Wall-E’s underlining theme of hope and human resilience makes it, in my opinion, a lovelier and more endearing story than the self-deprecating and (admittedly funny) sarcastic humor of other animated films, like Shrek.



Overall, Wall-E is an epic, heartwarming, love story, with spectacular visuals, astounding sound effects, and an amazing message for those who would care to look for it.



I’m definitely buying its DVD coming out this November. It would be wrong not to!



And.



Here’s to hoping Wall-E wins an Oscar.

"My Sassy Girl" Film Review

I really liked the film. It was a fresh kind of romantic comedy. There were barely any outrageously cheesy moments. Jesse Bradford even made me swoon.

My Sassy Girl is an American remake of the 2001 Korean film of the same title. The film is directed by Yann Samuel, and stars Jesse Bradford and Elisha Cuthbert. The film went straight to DVD in the US, but it premiered in theaters in other countries, e.g. Philippines.

My Sassy Girl is about a sweet guy from the Midwest named Charlie Bellow (Bradford), and his confusing and life-changing relationship with the demanding, complicated, and beautiful Jordan Roark (Cuthbert). Charlie unexpectedly meets Jordan while waiting for his ride in the subway, and after saving her life while she was drunk and taking care of her, Jordan repays Charlie by sabotaging his mundane life.

I’ve heard that the people who have seen the Korean version say that the American one sucks.

Well I’ve never seen the Korean version, but I’ve got to say that this is an incredibly sweet romantic film. But not too sweet, there were enough rough and tumble parts to keep the audience interested. Jesse Bradford and Elisha Cuthbert’s performance were great, extra kudos to Cuthbert for her outstanding screen presence. My Sassy Girl isn’t like all the other romantic comedies, it’s not a one dimensional film where the hero/heroine suddenly changes their “player” ways because they’ve fallen oh-so in love with either the “geek” or the “best friend.” And no one “suddenly realizes” that they’re in love with the person sitting in front of them the whole damn time. What I really like about the film is that there’s no tangible flaw in the characters, they’re perfectly imperfect humans. This takes the film to a fairly more genuine level of character development than most movies in the romantic comedy genre.

My Sassy Girl is ultimately a story about making the choice to follow the destiny presented to you. Although it’s pretty obvious where the plot is going, especially if you’re the type to look for it, the film still gives the audience a crazy, lovely, sassy ride throughout.

"The Dark Knight" Film Review

The Dark Knight is a 2008 superhero film based on DC Comics’ character, Batman. The film is directed by Christopher Nolan. Nolan also co-wrote it with his acclaimed author brother, Jonathan Nolan. The film stars Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Michael Caine, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Gary Oldman, and Morgan Freeman.

I finally saw The Dark Knight just last night, it was a whopping 152 minutes long, but each minute was compelling enough that there weren’t any lagging scenes that made you want to get up and stretch. You can just imagine that tortuous, electric feeling you get when your lower bodily parts get numb for a long period of time. But it was well damn worth it.

Seeing Heath Ledger’s (already) legendary performance as The Joker was incredible. He brought a beautifully psychotic performance to his character that had the audiences laughing, wincing, and getting massively disturbed all in the span of five seconds. He stole every scene he was in. Ledger’s Joker is infinitely darker than Jack Nicholson’s. I won’t say better, because Nolan’s Batman films are on a completely different level from the previous Batman installments. All of the actors brought their A-game, they were all amazing. Aaron Eckhart’s Harvey Dent was great, his breakdown and transformation into Two-Face in the hospital was heartbreaking. Christian Bale’s performance as Bruce Wayne was understandably understated. For all intents and purposes, Bruce Wayne wasn’t supposed to be the hero in the film. The action was superb. And we can see a more detective-like side to Batman that we didn’t really see in Batman Begins.

By the way, I love Tiny Lister’s cameo as the convict who threw the detonator out. One of my favorite moments in the film, even though it was absolutely cheesy.

Most Hated Character: the mousy guy who wanted to blackmail Bruce Wayne.

And, could someone get Batman some cough syrup? That weird, angry, gurgling, whisper-growl he’s got going on can’t be good for his vocal chords.

The Dark Knight is a gripping tale about heroism, sacrifice, and crossing the lines between madness and genius to make a difference in the world. Definitely one of, if not the best film of the year.

Watch it if you haven’t already.

"Prom Night" Film Review

Prom Night is a slasher horror film directed by Nelson McCormick and written by J.S. Cardone. The film stars Brittany Snow, Jonathon Schaech, Scott Porter, Dana Davis, Collins Pennie, Jessalyn Gilsig, and Idris Elba.

(Major Spoilers)

The basic story of the whole film?

Guy loves girl
Girl hates guy
Guy kills girl’s family (while girl does nothing and hides under the bed)
Girl escapes and lives happily ever after-NOT
Guy kill girl’s friends
Guy almost kills girl
But girl is saved by police after everyone else has already died
Yaytheend!!

Prom Night is a pretty, straightforward slasher film. In every sense. It’s deliciously predictable, if not boringly so. The title: Prom Night has no bearing on the story whatsoever other than the fact that the whole killing spree happened on prom night. I actually liked the fact that Richard Fenton (Jonathon Scaech) only used a knife. The killing scenes are repetitive, in that Fenton used a knife to stab his victims multiple times, but each scene was no less disturbing and mortifying. However, the protagonists and victims didn’t really muster much sympathy from me.

The good parts of the film:

- Jonathon Schaech’s performance

- Editing. The lighting fluctuations added to Richard Fenton’s creepiness, and it accentuated the parts when he was stabbing his victims.

Ugly parts:

- Lisa’s (Dana Davis) dying scene. I understand that when a murdering psycopath is after you, a person can get quite hysterical. But really, who in the world would frantically run backwards on their way to an exit? Only people begging to be slashed from the back, that's who.

- The overall ‘dont-go-there-scream-dammit-scream-why-you-so-stupid’ feeling you get for Brittany Snow’s character.

Some important advice for the people of the world?

When the fire alarm is going off at the hotel you’re staying in, please DON’T go back up to your room, using the frickin elevator no less, to get a stupid ass shawl. I mean come on. Would anyone really risk burning alive for a frickin shawl? If it was studded with millions worth of diamonds I’d understand, but it wasn’t even that pretty!

Another oh-so important advice? If pretty people being brutally killed by a ruggedly handsome creepy, psycho with a knife is not your cup of frappuccino, then Prom Night ain’t worth it.